- This stuffed animal panda bear is really cute, I want.
- This is the coolest Super Mario Bros themed wedding cake ever. And yes, it IS a cake. I'm also a huge fan of the "mad hatter" style wedding cakes.
I used to LOVE this commercial! Hehehe.
Last night Chris and I were watching movies on the HBO Demand channel, (where there's a list of movies that you can watch at any time,) and we watched, "The Hills Have Eyes II" and "Blades of Glory." They were both ... very "special" movies in their own unique way. :P
On Saturdays Chris always goes to Barnes'N'Noble to study for the masters exam with his study partner, and I always tag along. (To read of course, not to study!) :P Last weekend I bought and read 'Twilight,' and today I sat in one of the comfy chairs with my vanilla chai tea latte (YUM) and read the sequel 'New Moon.' In just 4 hours I was already half way through the book! Unfortunately, Chris didn't want to stay an additional 4 hours so I'll have to read the second half next weekend. :P
Mmmm I want to take a road trip up north this summer.
I'm listening to the Pink Elephants song from Dumbo. :::giggles:::
This evening I had to run to Target to get a few things, and I picked up a super cute white piggy bank with colored spots. WAY cute if I do say so myself. I realized that I've never owned one before, and that it might not only look nifty, but would also be a good place to put all the lose bills from tips. I also got some Sponge Bob Square Pants dixie cups and cup dispenser. Tres exciting, no? :P
I'm excited for this summer. My former roomie from college (Anna) will hopefully be coming to visit me for a day or two in June. YAY! Also, Christy will be coming by for a day or two as well, and we plan on hopefully making a trip to Disneyland! Woo hoo! AND of course, I plan on visiting home this summer. That's already three exciting events in store!!!
And now ... to bed. Zzzzzzzz.
Today I worked from 5am - 3:30pm. It ... sucked.
I couldn't seem to focus while working at Starbucks this morning, so in the course of under 15 minutes I managed to spill boiling hot coffee all over my left hand THREE SEPARATE TIMES!!! Just damn. By the third time I wanted to cry- seriously. My hand was a lovely shade of bright pink for hours.
Then the Elephant Bar sucked because of three reasons, 1.) We were extra busy today (because the Macaroni Grill right by us closed,) and being busy "would" have been a good thing, had it not been for reason 2.) TWO servers decided to not show up today, so I was slammed at our busiest hour with an additional entire section, and 3.) I made LESS money today then I did yesterday, and yesterday we were sloooow.
Grrrrrrrrrrr. Just grrrrrrrr.
Happy Easter everyone! :::starts singing in an annoying nasal voice::: "I'm a bunny, and it's not funny, how people think Easter's just a time for hunt'in eggs! I'm a bunny, listen Sunny! Easter is all about J-E-S-U-S!" Hahahaha sorry inside joke.
WARNING: Lengthy blog ahead.
Something I've been dealing with for quite some time but just haven't blogged about yet is what I like to call, "my eating problem." While I've been doing much better, and eating hasn't really been too much of a "problem" for me lately, it's still something I deal with on a daily basis. I haven't written about it before because 1.) I didn't want to sound like a freak, 2.) I wasn't ready to identify the problem(s), and 3.) it just seemed too complicated.
Even now I don't really know where to start. When I think about it, I guess it started back in my early teens. Maybe, 13? 14? To sum it all up, I was always active and enjoyed exercising and doing things like dancing, gymnastics, etc. I remember my family would go out to eat, and I'd always just stay home and have a bowl of cereal. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe partly because I wanted to just have dinner while watching tv, and maybe partly because cereal was healthy ... because staying in shape was something that was important to me. And when I do things, I like to do them to the max. Call me a perfectionist.
During 2 years of college I dated a guy, (yes we all know who,) who was also a health nut and personal trainer. He taught me the lovely "food diary" idea, where you keep track of everything you eat each day in order to keep track of the calories. I always ate a healthy amount, and never had any problems. I wasn't obsessed, it was just a healthy habit I had. Sure, I would become a bit anxious/depressed if I went several days without exercising, but still.
Fast forward to 2007. If I had to pinpoint a month, I'd say that the end of the summer is when my problem really began to manifest itself. I'm sure many people go through phases in their lives where they just feel "dumpy." Well, for several months I felt "quite" dumpy. There were so many things that helped to contribute to the "dumps" I had. The loss of our dear family friend Leroy, the death of my grandpa, trying to adjust living with my boyfriend, (which don't get me wrong, is wonderful. But I think it's always a challenge at first when two people move in together.), I was feeling depressed career-wise, my skin went to total s**t, and I was severely missing my friends and family back home. All of these things seemed out of my control. But out of all the things I "couldn't" control, my eating and weight were something I "could" control.
Around the end of September I began restricting my food intake. At first I started at about 1,300 calories a day, but that quickly became 1,200 calories a day. My goal was to eat 1,200 calories a day or less. If I could eat just 850 calories in a day, that was a good day. Because not only would I have reached my goal, I would have reached "beyond" my goal. (Keep in mind I know all about healthy eating and that eating too little isn't good for you, etc.) But the more days that passed, the louder this irrational voice inside my head became ...
I became obsessed with food- and not eating it. I would plan everything I would eat during the day the night before on fitday.com to make sure I wouldn't go over my calories. I had the amount of calories in each serving of all the food in our cabinets memorized. Some times I would have to remind myself that WATER has zero calories. I started weighing myself each week, because losing weight each week made me feel like I accomplished something. (I'm the type of person who is constantly setting goals and trying to accomplish things.) Food was constantly on my mind, and I began to feel anxious around it. I began to despise eating in front of people, because I felt as if I was being watched, or that I was eating too much. I felt even more depressed than I had before, and it was putting tension on my relationship with Chris. The more control I thought I had was just an illusion; I was really "out" of control.
I lost 15 lbs during about a month and a half, (and I wasn't at all overweight to begin with,) but gained most of it back by Christmas because Chris began to get really concerned and I was determined not to let my eating problem get in the way of our relationship. I've been making it a point to eat healthy again, but it's hard. There's still that voice inside my head telling me to eat 1,200 calories a day or less, and to lose 5-10 more lbs. I still occasionally have those days where, if I eat over 1,400 calories, I feel like I've failed and so I'll eat everything in site. Some times, I still get anxious when eating in front of Chris and so I'll wait until he's in the shower before I have my bowl of cereal. But those days are getting fewer and more far in between, even if it "is" something I have to consciously battle in my head every day. And as OCD as I can be some times, I have to remember that there "will" be things out of my control, and that's okay. Life's too short to spend it in constant hell inside your head.
Last night I gave into the temptation of buying the movie 'Enchanted.' Such a fabulous movie! It's one of those films that I can watch when I'm feeling dumpy to lift my spirits. It's a cute love story, it's funny, and it has good old Disney animation. What could be better? I watched it last night and was just as amused with Prince Edward this time as I was the first time I saw it. Speaking of Edward ...
I bought the book 'Twilight' today and have been reading it for the majority of the evening so far. Quite lovely. Quite ... lovely.
The other day I bought a super cute stuffed animal owl. First, because I have a "thing" for owls, (they're just so bloody cute! And, the Goblin King was an owl. Let's not forget that I declared I would marry the Goblin King at the young age of 3!) and second, because the owl looks like Toasty. I swear, if Toasty were an owl, this is what she would look like. Cuuuute! :P
This past weekend was fun. Chris and I played Scrabble while watching the movie, "The English Patient," and ate out at The Macaroni Grill. Yuuuuuum. It was sooo good. Then on Sunday we hung out with my friend Clinton from college whom I hadn't seen in 3 years, which was also fun. We hung out by the pool, went to Starbucks while enjoying a mini thunderstorm that was rolling through town, (there was actually THUNDER!!!,) played a board game called "Dirty Minds," (hi-larious,) and then ate out at The Old Spagetti Factory while talking in fake british accents. Now "that's" my idea of a good weekend! :)
Ok this might be a little too much information for some people, but for those of you women who are taking birth control pills, can I just say Planned Parenthood? I don't know about anyone else, but my health insurance, (even when I had GOOD health insurance on my dad's plan,) didn't cover this lovely ... err ... topic. For the past year and a half, I've been paying $37-$45 each month for my prescription monthly pills packet. PLUS a minimum of $75 just to see my doctor regularly in order to keep getting them. Well since I moved, the doctor I had been seeing previously for this reason is just too far of a drive. So this month I decided, (since I was due for an appointment to keep getting my pills,) to just go to Planned Parenthood just this once since I hadn't yet found a new doctor. Ummm ... can I just say that it was the best decision evAR because not only was the appointment free, but they gave me a YEAR'S worth of the exact same pills I had been taking for FREE. I will be saving $531 this year by not having to pay for them anymore. And I don't have to worry about getting them refilled every single month. SWEEEEEEET.
The other night I had the weirdest dream ...
I dreamt that I was with my sister, Michelle, and Christy. We were at their (the Berry's) house, getting ready for a Halloween party that we were throwing. We realized that we needed some more food and decorations, so we decided to go to the store and Walgreens. Mr. Berry offered to drive us since he said he was planning on going into town anyway. So off we went. Things looked a bit different, (as they so often do in dreams,) but some things looked familiar and remained the same. As we were driving by AppleBee's on Stadium, we passed what looked like Michelle's dead and bloodied body laying on the side of the road. (Disturbing.) So we were all like, "What the? That looked like Michelle!" (of course we were extra dumbfounded because Michelle was IN the car with us.) We told Mr. Berry to turn the car around and nearly got broad-sided in the process because of the icey roads. (There were patches of snow and ice on the ground.) We drove by AppleBee's again, and there it was, Michelle's body on the side of the road. We were all extremely disturbed and panicked by now, so Mr. Berry starting driving us home. I looked back through the window at Michelle's body and suddenly she (the dead body,) got up and began to follow us. We returned home and ran inside the house, locking the doors. We explained to a really confused Mrs. Berry what we had seen, and then as we looked out the front window, we saw the bloody dead Michelle walking up the front lawn towards the door. Then, as if in a trance, Mrs. Berry walked to the front door and opened it, (as we all protested,) but there was a screen door. The dead Michelle (who now had dark brown hair,) was touching hands with Mrs. Berry through the screened door. Then Mrs. Berry began sobbing, as if it really "was" Michelle. After a moment, she opened the door and dead Michelle came in. I was huddled by the couch next to Erika, Christy, and the live Michelle. Dead Michelle came up to us and asked us to follow her in this really creepy voice. Live Michelle turned to us and said, "I think we need to follow her. If we don't, I'm afraid of what she might do to us." Reluctantly and quite panicked, we started to follow dead Michelle. Suddenly we appeared in "my" old neighbor hood, and we were in the side of the yard. The sun was almost set, and there was still snow on the ground. I looked down at the grass and saw that there were about 6-7 fresh looking graves in the yard. (No stones, just mounds of dirt.) Dead Michelle (who at this point didn't even look like Michelle, but instead some dark haired bloody ghost,) pointed at one of the fresh dirt graves. Suddenly the Berry's old dog Savahnna, (who has been dead many years,) came out of the dirt. It was weird. We all petted her and then she sunk back into the ground. Next the ghost led us to the back yard, where there was another fresh grave. The ghost turned to us and said, "this was a good friend of yours." A moment later a long arm burst through the dirt, and out came Leroy. He looked the same, except that his skin was gray. He looked at all of us and said, "I was getting so sick of that grave!" He turned and looked me in the eyes and continued, "but I've been worried sick about you guys!" BRRRIINGGG!!! At that moment, my alarm woke me up bright and early, 6am. I was mad that I woke up, because I wanted to know what else would have happened. But I was also a little creeped out ... I mean ... I don't normally like seeing my best friend as a dead body following us around showing us all our other dead friends ...
I want to go to Italy. Tonight's episodes of 'Everybody Loves Raymond,' (one of my faaaaavorite shows,) took place in Italy. BEAUTIFUL. Oh and there's lots of pasta in Italy, and I love pasta. Oh and espresso too, and I love espresso. OH and fun little bike things to ride around on, and I like bikes. :P As I was driving past the gas station Chevron tonight, (one of the cheapest stations around here, the one "I" go to,) gas was $3.55. *&^#@!!!!!!!!! If I had a motor bike, like in Italy, I wouldn't have to worry as much about gas. :::sigh:::
I finally beat 'Kingdom Hearts II' today, YAY!!! :D
Great game ... but ... the final stages? Damn. Just damn. My fingers, hand, and arm were all cramping. The bosses just kept coming. I really just wanted to cry. Seriously, I almost cried. :P But it's over, and I can now add that to my "list of video games I've beat" repitoure. :P
Resther did this survey in her last blog, so I think I'll be a copy cat. :P
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
An atlas and a cd holder. Oh and a windsheild scraper. (Not that I need it out here.
2. When was the last time you threw up?
In January. Ewwwww!
3. What's your favorite curse word?
Damn. For Sure.
4. Name 3 people who made you smile today.
Chris, Toasty, and Chris.
5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping in!!!
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
I was at Barnes'N'Noble with Chris.
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Probably playing 'Kingdom Hearts II."
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No and I don't plan on going either.
9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"No ..."
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
I have several. Starbucks Mud Pie and chocolate mint cookie chunk are two faves.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
A white chocolate mocha from Starbucks.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Jean capris and a really cute new panda t-shirt that I bought on Wednesday.
13. What was the last thing you ate?
A muffin. Yummy.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Yes, the panda t-shirt mentioned above along with 3 other tops, and some more black leggings.
15. When was the last time you ran?
Thursday.
16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I never watch sporting events.
17. To what extent do you recycle?
We haven't done much recycling lately. Bad I know.
18. Who is the last person you emailed?
My dad.
19. Ever go camping?
About once every few years.
20. Do you have a tan?
No not really.
21. Do you formally set the table each night?
Hahaha yeah right.
22. Name a favorite TV series from a) your childhood b) your teen years and c) your adult periods.
a. Sesame Street
b. Qauntom Leap
c. House
23. If you aren't married yet, describe your dream wedding. If you are already married, and you could go back and change something about your wedding, would you?
It would take up too much space to describe my "dream wedding." I just don't feel like typing for that long! :P
24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
If it's in a glass. But I don't really drink much soda.
25. What did your last IM say?
Don't remember. Don't really "IM" much these days.
26. Are you someone's best friend?
Maybe?
27. What are you doing tomorrow?
I have the day off!!! And ... I don't know yet.
28. Where is your mom right now?
Ummm ... burried underneath the ground? Horrible I know.
29. Look to your left, what do you see?
The wall and a matress.
30. What color is your watch?
Don't have a watch.
31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Beautiful landscapes and the Steve Irwin.
32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Only if I needed some type of reconstructive surgey from say, an accident.
33. What is your birthstone?
A ruby. Woooo hooo!
34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Don't eat too much fast food. Ummm ... both?
35. How many kids do you want?
Dunno.
36. Do you have a dog?
Nope. I have a Toasty.
37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My sister.
38. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes.
39. Any plans today?
'Kingdom Hearts II" baby!
40. How many states have you lived in?
South Dakota, Missouri, and California. = 3.
41. Ever go to college?
Yep and graduated too...
42. Where are you right now?
At the apartment.
43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Work can be mega annoying some times.
44. Last song listened to?
Ummmm probably something on the car radio but I wasn't paying attention.
45. What do you wish you could bake/cook?
Alot of things!
46. Are you allergic to anything?
Some times cats. Some times shrimp.
47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My black slipper flats.
48. Are you jealous of anyone?
No.
49. Which do you prefer: bath or shower?
Showers mostly, but baths are lovely to soak in sometimes.
50. Is anyone jealous of you?
How would I know?
51. What time is it?
3:56pm
52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yeah. Scary.
53. Do you eat healthy?
Usually.
54. What do you usually do during the day?
Work, work-out, work, scrap book or play PS2, random chores.
55. Do you hate anyone right now?
No one in specific.
56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
The majority of days at work, yes.
57. Name something you admire and something you dislike about your country of origin (or country of residence - your choice). We have amazing potential but much or our abilities and influence are missused or just not used. This is a beautiful country. Very diverse. And yet ... very stupid some times.
58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
I'll be 25. :::GULP::: That means I'll be half way til fart!!!
59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes, Chris and I had season passes last year.
60. How did you get one of your scars?
One word: Fritz.
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
All of them.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Home, lol.
3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
No.
4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be ?
I'd have to think about that. I'm not really sure actually.
5. What do you want to be doing right now?
Sitting on my duff, like I am right now!
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A vet, a disney animator, an actress, a wedding planner.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
Just one.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I just bought it and it's uber cute.
10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
Urrrg. Just URRRGGGG!!!
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
Within the US? Colorado - Chris and a few other friends.
Outside: London or Australia maybe, although I've never been to either place. :P
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Ahhhhh! (Because Chris was running towards me to tackle me!)
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"I ... get to ... sleep ... in ..."
14. Do you miss being a child?
I miss not having to worry about things like jobs, money, etc. I remember when, during the summer, the only thing I worried about was "what" I was going to play and "who" I was going to play with.
16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Ummm, running boring errands like grocery shopping. Getting Gas. BLAH.
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yeah probably.
18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in!
19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Donald Duck.
20. Favorite thing to do at night?
Sleep.
21. Have you found real love yet?
I'd like to think so!
22. When did you first start feeling old?
When I started having to pay for everything myself.
24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey.
25. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart/Target?
There's no "certain thing" I get everytime. I get what I need.
26. Beach or lake?
Beach. But some lakes are really nice too!
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Absolutly not.
28. Do you own property?
I own a vehical.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Errrr uhhhh chocolate?
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I'm very open about my favorite movies. Just ask!
31. What's your drink?
Water first. Second, white mochas and caramel macchiatos.
32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians I suppose.
33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers! Oohhhh yeah. (Actually I don't really care ...)
34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
No one really. I'm still friends with everyone I cared about.
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I've never listened to the radio in my car. Always a cd.
36. Norm or Cliff?
Uhhhh ... ???
37. Grey's or The Office?
Neither.
38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Spending 3 years with some one when I knew it wasn't going to work out.
39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
No one sits across from me at work.
40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Johnny Depp, Ewan McGregar, Reese Witherspoon ... I could keep going ...
40. What famous person would you like to jam with?
Queen!!!! (or should I say, would like to have "jammed" with ...)
41. Indoors or Outdoors?
Both.
42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
No.
43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope.
44. Last book you read?
The final Harry Potter book.
45. Do you have a teddy bear?
No, I have a rabbit.
46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth
In the wilderness?
47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
I "live" in Caifornia.
48. Do you go to church?
Not since I moved, I "church hopped" a few times but never found one I liked.
49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
A career. I'm already in a relationship and wouldn't care to start another one.
50. How old are you?
24.
You know what makes me happy? The Target that just opened a few blocks down from our apartment! It's so convenient. Chris and I went to it's "un-official" opening last night and it's reeeally nice. Best part? There's a Starbucks in it- complete with a nice sitting area! Now you might wonder "why" I'm excited about a Starbucks, seeing that I work there and all. Well, the one I work at is about 12 minutes away, whereas this one is about THREE minutes away, hehehe. Now I'll have one close enough for late evening cravings. :P
I returned to Target tonight after work and bought some uber cute lantern lights to hang from the counter, a few cute tops, a couple new cute dishes, (yes, everything I bought was CUTE! Hehehe,) and a few other boring things like toilet paper, sunblock, etc. (The toilet paper is "not" cute.) :P OH and did I mention that they have a fabulous chocolate section? We're not talking bags of Snickers and Milkyways, but really nice truffles and stuff!
Anyhoo, that's my excitment for the night.
I want an indoor treadmill to be able to use whenever I want. Some times I want to go for a walk or a run, but I don't know where to go, don't feel like driving some where, or the weather sucks. Ahhhh to have one in my very own dwelling space, "that" would be nice. :)
