The Tale of Chris and Costco

The unfortunate tale of Chris and Costco, as heard by me while on the phone with Chris ...

It was a cool, blustery evening as Chris headed to Costco to get some last minute shopping done before closing time. After a long day at work, he was in a hurry to get back home. He got his shopping done swiftly, buying 40 lbs. of kitty poo litter, 48 cans of kitty food, and two boxes of Pepsi. Proud of the fact that his entire shopping trip only took 20 minutes, Chris headed out to the parking lot with his shopping cart, (which was full of 40 lbs. of kitty poo litter, 48 cans of kitty food, and two boxes full of Pepsi, of course!) so that he could unload his purchases into his car and head home. When he realized- his car was no where in sight. "Surely my car is just ahead," Chris thought. He continued walking foward, looking both left and right. But still ... no car was in sight. He looked back over his shoulder, thinking perhaps he had PASSED his car by mistake, but in vain. Slowly, panick began to set in. He felt knots beginning to tie in his stomach, and his head began to spin, as he pushed that cart full of poo. I of course, was on the other end of the phone the entire time. "Have you found your car yet?" I asked. "Nooo," he replied. Trying to remain calm, Chris pushed his cart into the next isle, positive that he would find his black 2005 Mazda waiting for him. I waited anxiously to see if he would find his car. Unfortunetly, I knew it was a bad sign when I heard groaning on the other end of the line. "What's wrong?" I inquired. "Allison, I think some one stole my car! This isn't good!" I could hear the panick in his voice, and the rumble of the shopping cart filled with poo as he began to push it faster and faster, as if pushing the poo faster would make his car suddenly appear. "I don't see my car anywhere!" Chris panicked. "Are you sure you didn't park it on the other side?" I asked calmly. "NO!" He yelled, with his unbridled terror streaming out in his voice. This panick went on for twenty minutes. That's TWENTY minutes of pushing 40 lbs. of cat poo, 48 cans of kitty food, and TWO BOXES OF PEPSI. Finally, after a long moment of intense silence, Chris said, "Oh yeah, I parked over on THAT side of the parking lot!" AND well, you can guess what happened next.