DMV = A Series of Unfortunate Events

Picture this: A burning pit of fire with flames spiraling towards the sky as hundreds of poor, tortured souls scream in tourment, trapped there for all eternity. Now, what does this picture sound like? Really, you think so too? You're right! It has to be a description of none other place other than that of the DMV! If you were thinking hell, then you were wrong.

Recently, I have come to the conclusion that not only is the DMV hell, but it is always what causes a downward string of bad events. You can be sure that if you have an appointment at the DMV coming up, you should RUN for your life! Why? Because a series of unfortunate events are soon to follow. You're probably thinking, "What on earth could possibly happen to make me flee from the DMV?" To give you an idea, here's an example of what could happen...

Let's say you move to another state and need to get your vehicle registered and licensed for that particular state. As the end of the month approaches, you realize that the tags on your current plates are about to expire, so it's time to schedule an appointment at the DMV. You show up at your appointment on time, only to find that you don't have all the required documents needed. You then return home and spend the next couple of days collecting those much needed documents, making sure you have absolutely everything you could possibly need. However, after doing so, you realize that the DMV requires that your vehicle have what's called a "smog check" before you can get your vehicle registered. A bit annoyed, you take your vehicle to the nearest auto repair/smog station to have it checked, only to find that the "check" costs $55, not $15. In addition, you are also informed by the mechanic that your check engine light doesn't work. The price to fix it? Oh, just $85. Reluctantly, you tell the mechanic to go ahead and fix the light because you need the light to work in order to pass the smog check. After waiting for two hours, you return to the station expecting to pick up your newly smog checked vehicle, only to be told by the mechanic that "your car is missing a part that is required for the smog check." The solution? You pay $200 for them to order the needed part. Over the next few days while you wait for the part to arrive, you begin to grow anxious about the approaching expiration date of your tags. Finally, you get the call that your part has arrived. You return to the auto repair station to have the part installed, and after waiting for an hour, you are told that it's the wrong part. The mechanic then mentions that the part you need for your car is "impossible" to find, and that your best bet would be to "find it used in a junk yard some where." You simply stand there silently, thinking "what the HELL?" Afterwards, you spend another two hours driving all the way across town in traffic to return the part. Yes that's right, YOU have to return the part. FINALLY, after you return home, you notice that some one was nice enough to clip your vehicle while in the parking lot, leaving scratches and white car paint all over the side of your nice, shiny silver car. Sounding like hell yet? Unfortunetly, hell is just getting warmed up. Later that night, you decide to attend a free kickboxing class in order to relieve some of the stress caused by your car situation. The class goes great as you kick, punch, and sweat your frustrations out. Now feeling much better, you return to your car and find an $80 parking ticket on your windshield. Getting pretty bad, isn't it? Let's just say that you spend the next several days calling car dealers to look for the car part that is "impossible to find," waisting more money, more time, and OH did I mention more money?? And all the while, your tags are about to expire and you can't get your vehicle registered with new ones because you can't get the smog check. Why? Because you can't get the part (that costs hundreds of $'s) that you NEED for the smog check. Why? Because it's supposedly impossible to find!

And THAT my friends, could happen to you. How do I know this? Because it happened to ME! That's right, ME! And it ALL started with a bloody appointment at the DMV. Hence the title of this blog, the "DMV = A Series of Unfortunate Events."