A Little Bit of Self Love

Ok, finally, after years and years of being insecure about the way I look, I have decided to make a very conscious effort to NOT feel insecure about my appearance. I'll admit that I never thought of myself as "pretty" while growing up. In fact, looking back through old photos, I went through sooo many awful phases when it came to things like fashion and hair styles. But even though I need improvement, I have improved some what over the years when it comes to being comfortable with my appearance. For instance, I used to be so self-conscious about my big forehead. I would do everything I could to make it look smaller, from cutting my bangs to cover it up to using make-up to make it appear smaller. I even knew how to pose in pictures a certain way to make it look smaller. THAT’S how bad it was. I'm proud to say that I got over my forehead's size years ago. Sure, I still poke fun at it occasionally, but I could care less how big it is- and I no longer stare at it in pictures noticing its gargantuan size. To me, it's no longer an issue. But apparently, I still have many more issues to deal with. I've been made aware of these issues a lot during the past couple of months by Chris, who constantly points out how self-conscious I am and how I have no reason to be. Soooo, in order to help myself over come my self-criticism, I'm going to make a list of things I like about myself. Yes, I'm even going to compliment myself. Not to sound or be conceited, but simply to force myself to see past my insecurities. Alright…

First, I have a nice pair of pretty blue eyes. Some times when I see them in pictures, I'm amazed at how blue they really are! My eyes are just like my dad's, and I like that.

Second, I have really thick hair. Some times this can seem like a curse- but it's actually a good thing! It allows me to style it many different ways, and I never have to worry about my hair going "flat."

Okay…I'm doing well so far. But that was the easy part. Now onto the hardest part of all. My…ehem…body. Gulp. Here goes…

I'm really quite happy with my boob size. I've realized that bigger is not always better…a 36 B fits my body well. They're not too small, and not too big. They're big enough to allow some cleavage if I want, yet small enough that they don't get in my way when doing physical activities like running. Plus, they don't "sag." Hehehe =P

My butt. I've never been a fan of it. For some reason…I just can't take it seriously. I mean, who CAN take a butt seriously? Butts are just plain funny when you think about it. And my butt has a little extra "junk in the trunk," IF you know what I mean, lol. However, I have received so many compliments on my butt (at least ½ to ¾ of those compliments from black guys,) that it can't look that bad. In fact, I've been told I have a "J-Lo butt," and everyone knows J-Lo for her great ass. So, I'm trying to consider myself blessed. Plus, my butt provides excellent padding for when I sit, even if it does make finding a pair of jeans that fit extremely hard to find.

My abs are alright. I've been working-out consistently since I was twelve, so I should really be proud of them. Now, by no means do I have a "six-pack," but…you can see some definition dag gummit! And I've worked hard for that definition. = P
Now, I really do pride myself on my shoulders. I think I have nice shoulders. Enough said.

My legs aren't bad either. The other week, a guy came up to me and was like, "Damn! You've got some hefty legs! Daaaamn!...You got a boyfriend?" LOL. To which I responded, "Yes." =) My FEET on the other hand, are another story. As much as I would like to, I just can't bring myself to compliment my feet. They're rather big, and terribly worn from running and working. Last night, both of my big toes started peeling, ouch!!! Eww. Me no like my feet.

I think that's enough self love for today. I think maybe a small improvement has been made in my self-hating ways, heehee. Chris makes me do what I call "therapy" sessions, in which I'm forced to look at myself in the mirror, usually at least half naked. Eww. Well see, now I gave myself a therapy session. After all, the first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem! =)