The Tale of the Poor Podge

Last night, I received some interesting communications from my ex-boyfriend, Roger.

Lately, he's been doing what best he can to incite some reaction from me, for example, making fun of me in front of his jockish friends, cursing like a belligerant drunk, fabricating incriminating stories about our breakup for his parents, slandering me, claiming my chance at happiness, satisfaction and love were lost with his departure, and acting like a player (I thought players were the kind of guys who could actually walk up to a woman, but I guess I was wrong!) I thought that's where it would end, but apparently, his newest maneuver to win me back includes posting comments on my myspace page, as well as sending messages that directly comment on my sexuality and his yearning for me. For example, "You're number one where it counts (my heart)." Thanks, but no thanks buster!

*cough cough* He even referred to our relationship as a magic carpet ride dream .... Which is it? A magic carpet, or a dream? Either way, things don't look good. Magic carpets aren't real - is he saying our relationship wasn't real!? Oh .... I'm so ... what's that word Chris? Yes ... it's hurt. Anyhow, as for our relationship having been a dream, I'm sure he's fully aware that not all dreams are good. In my case, it was a long, long nightmare - one from which I had to physically rip myself from (remember the Matrix? Yeah, it was a little bit like that).

As such, my boyfriend and I thought it would be quite Hi-LAR-ious if he were to post comments on my myspace page as well, a sort of satire critiquing the ridiculousness of my ex's current behavior. Lo and behold (don't you just love that phrase? anyways) Rodge-Podge ended up quite the ticked off podge. He sent me not only an angry message lambasting the worth of my boyfriend (Chris), but also a message he wanted me to forward to Chris. Wo .... just wo there. Apparently, "the" podge can't even muster up the liquid courage to send his curse-ridden, grammar-error ridden, and unintelligibility-ridden messages to Chris directly. Not a good sign my poor podge. :P

*May the jock be with you* Nanu Nanu