Chris' Long-winded "I want some respect and appreciation" Rant

Am I really a bleeping jackass? At least that's what it's looking like these days, with blog posts that exclude what I've had to go through - such as being called a bleeping jackass multiple times.

As John and company have pointed out, candy wrappers and flung pens don't amount to the exasperating anger I'm feeling at this point; although, I'm still not very pleased with having my most expensive pen (a Christmas present) flung backwards, possibly hitting the glass screen of my very expensive television, a present to myself after years of watching TV on a cracked 13 inch television.

This summer, I've given up so much for Allison - too much to endure what's going on at present.

1) The trip to Missouri - I missed several job interviews and turned down a job offer at a school which pays significantly more than any of the public schools in the area. The job would have begun the week Allison and I visited Missouri.

2) I invited Allison to move in with me when her lease was up. She was stressing out about her cost of living in the heart of Los Angeles, especially with the rent going up, the cancellation of visitor parking privileges at her apartment complex, and the $250 dollar charge for a single parking spot. On top of that, her money was stolen at the Elephant Bar several weeks ago - about the amount she sets aside for rent each month, so that didn't make things any better.

My invitation to her to move in was a very big deal. I've lived alone for several years, meaning I have my own way of doing things, and I like them that way. For example, when I get home after a hard day at work, I like being able to grab a soda, sit down on the couch, and either watch the news or listen to some music - none of which I've done much of lately.

Well, you would have thought that I was offering her a death sentence. Despite the fact that I was offering her the opportunity to live at my place at no cost, and providing her with her own dedicated parking spot, and abundant space for her things, I had the offer thrown in my face like garbage. What followed were a million reasons why where I live was beneath her, and why it was okay for her to move in with Roger, but not me.

3) A few weeks ago, I went from having no teaching position offers to having five! And, not only did I have five, but they were all within easy driving distance to an Elephant Bar - because I was accepting interviews only for positions that would allow Allison to continue working at the Elephant Bar - this is very very hard when there are so very few of those restaurant in not only LA and San Bernardino County, but the rest of the country.

Now, one of the teaching positions was in San Bernardino, which is the heart of San Bernardino County, an infected, pestilent, violent heart at that. To give you an idea of what San Bernardino is like, it is composed of people who moved East out of South Central Los Angeles and Compton - the parts of LA that end up on COPS and movies about violent crime. I was afraid to stop anywhere, or roll down my window for fear of death. The school I was going to be teaching at if I accepted the position was so low performing that the state was threatening to shut them down unless they improved soon. Their best students were performing worse than my worst students from last year. A simple comparison of scores would be 626 to 922 on a one-thousand point scale. And, I found out that at least 96% of the people living in the area were living far below the poverty line. Let's be honest, poverty is closely related to crime, gangs, and violence. Did I want to be teaching in a violent environment? No. (More English teachers are killed by students than other types of teachers).

Nevertheless, Allison lobbied strongly for just this option. To her, the wonderful housing, in the nearby cities of Redlands and Loma Linda, and the added combat pay for my position more than justified working in such an environment. And, it justified my having to drive about two and a half hours to work each morning, at least for the first two months of work.

To make matters worse, one of the positions I was being offered was for Junior English - American Literature, all AP and Honors courses at Hollywood High AND during their magnate (super smart and motivated) track, as they have various tracks since they run year-round. This position was a DREAM. This position still is my dream, and the dream of every English teacher out there. For those who don't know, positions like this are impossible to find. Most teachers in California wait their whole lives for a position like this, accumulating enough experience points working at the same school for decades. When you have enough points, you can request to fill a good position at another school in the district, or you can fill a vacancy at your own school. How often do you think those positions are vacated? Never. They are vacated when someone either dies or retires.

Did Allison support me? No. She didn't even try. Erica was there when I got the job offer. She saw how offensively selfish Allison was about the whole thing. Allison didn't want to live in or near Hollywood High and that was "that." All she cared about was herself. At no point did she ever even show a shred of understanding, sympathy, or support and instead lobbied me to work in Gangland. It's true that I dislike driving through the middle of LA, dislike parallel parking, wasn't very excited about a lengthy commute, and that housing in the Hollywood area is far more expensive than what I'm paying right now - all good reasons why I may not have wanted to accept the position at Hollywood High. However, Allison is the primary reason why I turned down the dream I've been holding onto for five years, the dream I'll likely be holding onto for at least two more decades of futility.

4) Flash-forward a few weeks. I gambled on a job offer and secured a position teaching 10th grade at a high school that is neither outstanding nor bad. The school's about 12 miles West of my current apartment, or an hour away, regardless of whether I take the streets or freeway. Anyhow, I was very excited to land this position because it meant I could stay where I was for the moment. I wouldn't have to move while trying to grapple with being a new teacher at a new school; I wouldn't have the stress of resettling while trying to study for my Masters exam; I wouldn't have to be hours away from my university; and I wouldn't have to move away from my father, who I drove to and from the hospital during his heart attack ordeal and recovery.

Nevertheless, as with my opportunity to pursue a dream, Allison didn't care about my concerns whatsoever. All that mattered to her was finding a new place, particularly one with a fitness center. But, not only did she want to move so bad, she went around with her passive aggressive attitude mentioning here and there how bad my place was. For a fitness center, she wanted me to pay several hundred dollars extra a month, spend extra time driving to work, and inconvenience myself in all the ways listed above. So ... I helped her with her search. In fact, I was the one responsible for being serious about finding a new place. I spent days searching online, and finding apartment guides at convenience stores, printing off prospective apartments, their addresses, and directions to those places.

5) Now that Allison's moved in - because she hated my Sealy Posturpedic Twin mattress, I bought a Queen size bed for nearly $700 dollars, and spent ample time looking for that mattress so we could get the best deal. The usual price would have been $1,012 dollars.

ARG!

This is what I've received in return for what I've given up.

1) Allison rearranging everything and getting huffy when I ask where my things are.

2) Allison practically telling "me" where I can and cannot feed my own cat (i.e. the counter).

3) Allison telling me it's okay that I only save about 1/7th of my salary each month because I "make more" than her.


4) Rude, piss-contest-like behavior.
a) I complain about how cold my shower was, she responds by saying only that hers must have been colder earlier in the day.

b) I complain about how much I spent at the mechanic, and all I hear is how much worse it was for her, and what a genius she was for buying her own cabin filter.

c) I talk about how tired I am having to get to work by 7:30 am, when the drive is terrible even without crashes, blackouts, or road construction. All I hear is how much worse she had it for working at Starbucks, regardless of the fact that she did not have early shifts five days in a row, as I do, or have to drive so far to get to Starbucks in the morning.


5) Rude-behavior just for the sake of being rude. For example:
a) When my pen is flung, the response is not, "Don't mess with my nose." But, something to the effect of, "Oh, it's completely okay and I would never feel bad, never, about something as lame as your pen. Your pen is stupid and since you used it it can't even be expensive." What? It's one thing not to be sorry, another to be flagrantly offensive and proud of what you did.

b) My shirts - (the ones I like and not the ones that should be thrown away), the bed sheets, the pillow cases, and the towels have been bleached different colors by the face cream Allison uses. Her responses have ranged from screaming at me that it's not her make-up (this is maddening since no one believes it was make-up and we both know it was the face cream), and stomping out of the room. Not until yesterday night did she finally admit it was the cream. And again, what did I get after that - that I should be thankful I don't have to use that cream. I completely understand that she needs that cream, but when my things get irreparably harmed, I expect something better than being shouted at about make-up, or being told that I should be grateful I don't have to use the cream in question.

c) When I've brought things up in the past few weeks that she didn't feel like thinking or talking about, she's turned her head away, mumbled something under her breath, and then pretended like I never even spoke to her.

d) She's pretended to be asleep during the day only to start arguing and cursing at me the minute I need to go to sleep. I do not appreciate having to go to work on the first official day of school with only five hours of sleep. Five hours is enough to get by the day, but not enough to interact with and teach almost two-hundred students at a school whose policies and curriculum I haven't yet learned.

e) She's complained on and off that I'm a pig because she found grease in the bottom tray of my fridge. (She ripped my hot dog packaging and allowed that grease to settle in the tray without cleaning it up.)

f) She's complained about my stale bread and then discovered that there was a tear in the plastic wrapping. That tear was not there before she moved in. And, now the set of hamburger buns I bought this weekend has a tear in it too! I wonder how that tear got there when I hadn't touched the buns until last night, when I discovered the tear. If you're going to complain about my stale bread, it would be nice if you didn't tear the packaging.


CONCLUSION
I'm really very mad that I've given up so much, only to be faced with rude and thankless behavior in the place I call home.

Allison is the first girl I've ever asked to move in with me, the first one I've bought a bed for, the first one I've jeopardized my career for, and the first girl I've ever put ahead of my own personal dreams. And yet, she's perfectly okay being rude and disregarding not only my needs, but my dreams.

Am I a Bitch?

You decide, because Chris certainly thinks so.

Monday night, I was laying down on the floor watching tv. Chris had a pen in his hand and decided to try and stick the pen up my nose. Automatically, I batted the pen away from my nose, causing the pen to fly out of his hand and onto the carpet. (Chris likes to point out that the pen "bounced off the remote" before it hit the carpet.") He immediately began to get huffy because he then pointed out, ("after" trying to stick the pen up my nose,) that it was an expensive pen, that I could have broken it. He told me that I should be sorry because I could have potentially damaged his pen(there was no damage done,) and was quite outraged when I said I "wasn't" sorry. When I explained "why" I wasn't sorry, he started raising his voice and called me a "---- bitch." Allow me to explain why I wasn't sorry.

1. I had no idea the pen was "expensive" when he tried to stick it up my nose.

2. I didn't intentionally try to damage the pen. When some one tries to stick a pen up my nose, my first instinct is to bat it away.

3. Chris has tried sticking his fingers up my nose MANY times before, and he knows I don't like it. I always swat his hand away. So WHY would he try to stick his "expensive" pen up my nose in the first place?

After I explain these reasons to Chris, he says that they don't matter. That "it's not the point." He says that regardless of my reasons, I should still be sorry that I could have potentially damaged his nice pen. In fact, when I told him the above reasons for not being sorry, he said I'm "so proud of my actions." That I'm "proud" to act like a bitch.

Well, the topic got brought up again this evening because Chris was like, "I got you something, if you behave." (Which started us arguing over it again because I didn't/don't see my behavior over the pen fiasco as "misbehaving.") The more I would explain why, the more angry Chris got. He must've called me a "fucking bitch" close to ten times. According to him, he called several people earlier today and they all agreed with him that I was acting like a bitch. He was like, "no wonder everyone thinks you're a bitch!" Finally, after lots of arguing and getting no where, I got so frustrated that I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed for 3.5 hours. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. When Chris walked in, I pretended to be asleep so we wouldn't start arguing again. Well at 10:30pm when he came in to go to bed we started arguing- again.

Some one please tell me, should I be sorry that I could have potentially damaged his pen? Because right now I'm not. And I don't appreciate him calling me a "f--king bitch" over and over. He also brought up other things (which I won't go into because I'm too tired,) but the point is, is that Chris doesn't think I know how to take responsibility. I ate a nutty bar yesterday on the couch and set the wrapper down on the floor when I was finished. I planned on throwing the wrapper away next time I got up, but Chris ended up seeing it on the floor, (and was quite outraged,) and threw it away himself. He seems to think that I put it on the floor "knowing" it was going to get chocolate on the carpet. When I explain to him that, a.) I would NOT have set it down on the floor if I knew it would make a mess, and that b.) I "was" going to throw it away when I got up, he says I'm just making excuses.

Now because of tonight Chris thinks I intentionally like to argue right before bed and that I don't want him to get any sleep. That I always would mention how I used to get only 3 hours of sleep when working at Starbucks so that it makes "his" not getting any sleep okay. (I may have mentioned my sleep deprivation because of Starbucks a few times in the past, but I haven't said that it makes "his" not getting enough sleep okay.)

Ummm, help? Opinions? And no matter the situation, I don't appreciate my own boyfriend calling me a "fucking bitch" over and over again. I have no desire to talk to him after that. "Am" I a bitch? I'll let "you" decide.

Self Diagnosis

Well I got through my first day at the new E-Bar today, and it actually wasn't as hellacious as I thought it would be. I got the hang of things really quickly so it wasn't too bad. And this E-Bar is only about 12 minutes away as opposed to the one I was working at in Burbank, which took a "minimum" of 45 minutes to get to.

Chris and I watched 'Labyrinth' yesterday, and the restored picture quality was eeeeexcellent! I was very pleased. Plus, there's a nice long documentary "behind the scenes" special feature at the end which has some really interesting parts, including some hilarious outtakes!

For many many years I've always had occasional chest pains every so often, and Andrew and I used to jokingly call them "heart attacks," (because he said he had them too on occasion.) In addition I've always had the occasional blackout/dizziness after standing up. Well in the past couple weeks, the whole dizzy/blackout thing has become a lot more frequent. Especially with the heat outside. Yesterday nearly "every" single time I stood up it happened. So I decided to look it up online out and I think I may have diagnosed myself, lol.

I came across a page on a condition called Orthostatic Hypotension which seemed to fit all my symptoms to a TEE. Symptoms of this disorder include; chest pain, (check,) trouble holding the urine, (everyone knows how often I have to pee :P,) impotence, and dry skin from loss of sweating, (I sweat a crap load.) Hmmmm. Interesting. Anyhow this problem can be caused by a number of different things which I won't go into right now because I'm too lazy and the link is just above if you're really interested in knowing. :P

Time to prepare myself to go running in the 99 degree weather. Woot woot!

It's Hot.

I start work at the "new" Elephant Bar on Monday- Labor Day. Which ... will be extra special because my very first day at the new restaurant will be one of the absolute busiest days there is ... which means that ... it might suck getting slammed at the restaurant when I won't know where anything is. I work 6 days next week.

It's been hot outside lately. Yesterday it was 103. I haven't been able to work-out much because it's been too damn hot to run/hike outside. Oh well.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that as a "house warming gift" for when I moved in, Chris bought me the special edition of the 'Labyrinth' dvd. Yaaaaaay! I'll have to watch it soon ... I could go for a little Goblin King.

I painted a picture today. I'm excited because I just found out that there's a Color Me Mine about 15 miles away in Chino Hills- I'm totally going! :D

The Decision Has Been Made

To stay put. After weeks of looking for apartments online and spending the past several days actually "visiting" different apartments, we've finally reached the conclusion to stay right where we are for the time being.

Ultimately, probably the biggest reason that influenced the decision was money. Simply put, we'd both be able to save much more money if we stayed in Chris' current apartment. Right now Chris' current apartment, at 750 square feet (big for California, lol,) is only $1,100 a month, (also cheap for southern California.) Most of the apartments we looked at were "around" the same size, (some being smaller some being bigger,) but ran at least $1,300+ each month.

One apartment in particular (my favorite,) was $1,391 a month. It was sooooo cute! Great kitchen, beautiful interior, vaulted ceilings, a washer and dryer IN the unit, a wonderful balcony with a view, a fitness center, pool, and a great surrounding community. We even loved it so much that I wrote them a $100 "holding check" yesterday so that they would "hold" the apartment for 3 days while we debated over it. :::sigh::: I called them today and told them that we had ended up deciding against it. (I got my $100 back, of course.)

I think that was the best decision. I wasn't able to save very much money while living in LA, so living here would give me a much better opportunity to do so. I'd like to save money for my wedding business, more money for emergencies, and money for a car (when the day comes that my current car dies.) Sooooooo yes. Who knows, maybe next year? :P

Do YOU cut the mustard?

Does Chris' english "cut the mustard?" He "is" an english teacher- so let's find out ...

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 100% Spelling: 80% Vocabulary: 80%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Wew.

Apartment hunting is a pain in the arse. LOL. This is the first time in my life I've ever really had to "hunt" for an apartment. It's not mandatory that Chris and I move from his/our current apartment, but we're currently looking at different options. Today we went to 3 different places and tomorrow we're probably going to look at a few more.

Today we also made a big investment in a nice mattress/bed set which will be delivered to us tomorrow- yay! :D It's a really nice, comfy queen-sized Sealy matress- and I got a super cute bedding set today to go with it. I'm definitely thinking a nap tomorrow to test out the matress sounds like a great idea. :P

While we were visiting our first apartment today, we came across a SUPER friendly stray cat. It was a really light sandy color, (like the color of a tweedip!) was pretty small, and it just came right up to us and started purring like crazy and was just dying for some affection. Sadly, it was very skinny and really sickly. It's little nose was reeeeally congested with snot and it had raspy sounding breathing. :( I actually started crying because it just broke my heart to see such a sweet and friendly cat so sick, hungry, and homeless. I think I might drive back over there tomorrow and see if I can find it and then take it to an animal shelter. Thankfully, Chris happened to have a box full of canned catfood (for Toasty,) in his car so we gave it 2 cans of food.

I wish I could just go around and rescue "all" the stray and sickly cats. :(

Rachel Ray

Is a lush! I tried making her "margarita slushee" recipe on Friday night and for two people, the recipe called for 4 shots of tequila and 1 shot of triple sec. I mean ... that's FIVE shots in just two drinks! Needless to say, I cut the amount of booz that was called for in "half" and it still tasted strong! So I added way more lime sherbet than the recipe called for too. After a few minor adjustments, they were quite good! :P

Yesterday Chris and I went to SIX different places to look at matresses/bed frames. Blarrrrrgh. Why are matresses and bedframes so damn expensive?

I also bought a computer desk from Ikea yesterday and it was a pain in the RUMP to build. After about 2 hours of frustration Chris and I were both cursing the AWFUL instructions that were provided. BUT, after much sweat and cursing, the desk is now finally complete.

Friday night Chris and I rented the movies "Disturbia" with Shia Lebeof (however the heck you spell his name,) and "Vacancy" with Kate Beckonsdale and Owen Wilson. "Disturbia" wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be, with only a few minorly tense moments and a fairly predictable plot. "Vacancy" was ok, but it had an extremely predictable plot which was unfortunate.

Hmmmm, and that was my weekend, in a nutshell. And ... Toasty is meowing.

Screaming Spiders

Yesterday when Chris came home we found that big mama black widow that was on our porch and Chris whacked it with a dust pan and it fell to the ground ... and it laid there ... with a yellowish sticky substance/crippling poison oozing out of the cracks of it's broken butt. Several minutes later, Chris returned with an oven later and, assuming it was already dead, started lighting the carcass on fire. Suddenly, the crumpled black widow started screaming! I mean, it was actually screaming. This high pitched, squealing sound came from it. So disturbing. That was the first time I'd ever heard a spider scream.

A Change

Ok so yesterday I officially moved in with Chris- woo hoo! I could no longer afford to live in my current apartment with the new addition of adding an extra $250 a month for parking. Even my current roommates who have lived there for almost 4 years are moving at the end of the year when their lease expires. And so basically it came down to a.) living with some random person who I'd probably find on Rent.com that I wouldn't know or trust, or b.) live with Chris, some one who I know, love, AND trust. Plus I wanted to get out of the middle of Hollywood. Anyone whose been reading my blog this summer knows how much I've been complaining about the parking, prices, and construction! Argggg!

I've already unpacked almost everything and the apartment is beginning to look cute! :P Tomorrow I'm going to get some new stuff for the bathroom and eventually, (once Chris and I decide if we want to stay in this current apartment or find a new one,)I'll get a matress and bed. (Chris has a single matress on the floor, heehee.)

I'll be transferring to the Elephant Bar that's about 15 minutes away, (even closer then the one I've "been" working at,) so that's good.

Ummm today I went outside onto the porch to get the broom and ... I saw ... a big butt black widow! (Literally!) It was the biggest one I had ever seen. I completely had a panic attack. It was disgusting.

Mizzy in LA

Day 1: I picked Mizzy, (aka my sister Erika,) up from Union Station in downtown Los Angeles at 8:15am, (actually it was more like 8:35am because I got lost- THANKS mapquest!) From the station we headed back to my apartment to unload her luggage and so I could give her a "tour" of the area. For breakfast, we ate at the French Crepe Company, which was sooooo good! Nutella crepes are damn good. Yum. During the afternoon we walked around the Hollywood Blvd. area for several hours, going shopping, looking in various shops, visiting the Kodak and Chinese Theatres, and Erika even had her first ever experience at an Oxygen Bar! HA. It was pretty funny. After parading around Hollywood we met Chris for dinner and ate at Maggianos, one of my all time favorite italian restaurants out here! I ordered muscles in linguini with white wine sauce, Chris had sausage pizza, and Erika got some pasta that I can't remember the name of. I had 3 glasses of peach sangria- MMMMM.

Day 2: We headed down to Kato sushi bar around 11:30am for lunch, where Erika got the "all you can eat" sushi buffet. Basically, you just grab whatever you want to eat off of this moving belt in front of you. Unfortunetly, Erika didn't notice the "rules" card at her seat which said that you, "must eat whatever you take," and if you had anything you didn't eat, you had to pay full price for it. Hehehe, she had like 3 really big plates of gross stuff that she had to force down! :P Afterwards we headed out for a day in the sun at Venice Beach in Santa Monica. While there we "ran like David Hasslehoff," (HA!) played "300," (HA again,) and walked up and down the shopping strip. Fun times. After getting stuck in MAJOR traffic on the way home due to rush hour AND a car accident, we spent the night at Chris' and played several rounds of Karaoke Revolution. Woooo hoooo!!! (And of course, Erika met Toastykins.)

Day 3: Chris, Erika and I spent the entire day at Six Flags Magic Mountain. It was the perfect day to go! The weather was great, (it wasn't freezing like it was when Chris and I went back in April,) and it really wasn't all that crowded. We also bought "flash passes" which let us skip many of the big lines. I got to eat cotton candy, funnel cakes, and ride rollercoasters all day. It was GREAT. That night, we ate at Denny's. MMmmmm.

Day 4: Mizzy and I left Chris' place around noon and headed back to my apartment for an afternoon of lounging at the pool. We stopped at the grocery store and got some boodle, (aka fester food, aka SNACK food,) and some wine coolers. We layed around and swam for hours. We also witnessed these 3 little kids making quite a scene. This one boy, who looked to be about 3 or 4, kept going from the pool to the hot tub and pulling down his swim trunks (so that he was butt naked,) in each one. And each time he would be like, "I'm naaaaked in the hot pool!" "I'm naaaaked in the cold pool!" It was really funny. Erika and I were secretely watching and snickering the whole time. For dinner we went and ate at the Elephant Bar, then I showed her some more of LA, including the infamous Hayette Hotel on Sunset Blvd. OH and FYI, Paris Hilton was next door to my apartment at the Grove while we were there, LOL.

Day 5: We spent all afternoon at Chinatown looking around and shopping. I bought some presents for Chris and Erika bought a bunch of random items. We drank much boba, looked in many stores, and Erika even managed to get barged in on while in the restroom. HAHAHA. :P After about 4.5 hours in Chinatown, I drove Mizzy back to Union Station. :( Wahhhhh! No more Mizzy!!!!

Well, those are some of the highlights of the trip. It was a really great visit, so much fun! For pictures, go to my myspace profile.

Oh- and tomorrow is my LAST day at the Elephant Bar in Burbank!

I Can't Believe It ...

Something "good" actually happened to me today! I just got my car insurance renewal policy in the mail, and my monthly insurance payment of $162 has been lowered to $132 a month! Woo hoo! That's $30 less each month. And that piece of information, especially right now, makes me VERY happy. :)

And- MIZZY will be here at 8:15am tomorrow morning! :D

And it Continues ...

The bad luck, that is!

The flat tire I got on Sunday while on my way to work, (thereby causing me to MISS work,) was no big deal compared to what happened LAST night. At the Elephant Bar, all the costumers pay the servers for the meals. So instead of paying some cashier up front, they give the money to the server, and the server cashes them out. Throughout the night, we (the servers,) keep all the money (tips and money people use to pay for the meals,) in our little black check books. At the end of the night, the computer tells us how much money we "owe" to the restaurant before leaving, and then whatever is left is our tips. WELL. Last night as I was about to check out, some one STOLE my little black book filled with money. Don't ask me how, because I don't know. All I know is the managers and I looked for it until almost 1am last night. So ...

What this means is, not ONLY did I work 7 hours and walk away with ZERO dollars in tips, (I probably would have made about $150,) but now I also OWE the Elephant Bar $400. Yes that's right ... because some JACKASS stole my black check book, I now owe The Elephant Bar $400. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I only have 2 more weekends that I'm working at that place. So for the next 2 weekends that I work, I will make ZERO money every time now because I have to give it all to the Elephant Bar when I'm done. So starting NOW, I will be making no money until I move and get another job, which could be several weeks. I'm ... stressed.

:(

Just in: Chris more evil than Allison

You Are 38% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Watch Out ... :P

You Are 24% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Hahaha

You Are An Independent Girlfriend!

Whoa, Ms. Independent! Your guy digs your modern style... But he's sometimes left to wonder if you really like him. Keep that unique spirit, but show him your love a bit more often. No worries - you're light years away from smothering him!

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

I'm a Banana ...

You Are Banana Pocky

Your attitude: fun and lighthearted Unique and unforgettable You are cutie everyone falls for

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

The Count Down Begins ...

Only 1.5 weeks left in this building! No more waking up to hammers pounding right above my room IN THE SAME SPOT like I have every day for the past 4 months! (I mean honestly, that's how you can tell they're not even really "working." When you pound the EXACT same spot every day for 4 months, there's simply nothing there to pound!) No more driving around for like 45 minutes looking for parking everytime I come home! No more stupid asshole security gaurds getting mad at parking in visitor parking! No more construction in every hall! Yaaaaaaaay! LOL. :P

And while I'm at it ... only 2 more weekends of working at the Elephant Bar! (Well, before I probably end up transfering to "another" Elephant Bar, HAHA.)

Mizzy is coming to visit me on Monday- can't wait! We're going to go to the beach, go to Six Flags Magic Mountain, shop, explore, go out to eat, do some Karaoke, site see, etc. Doesn't that just make everyone else want to come and visit? :::hint hint:::

Okay, I gotta go get ready for work!

I'm Quaking in My ... Seat?

About 4 hours ago I experienced my biggest earthquake since moving to California. I was just sitting at the computer when all of a sudden the entire apartment building just shook back and forth- it was the weirdest feeling! It was like my bedroom was "rolling." I almost crapped my pants. And my roomie Kara who was alseep in the living room screamed. Yikes.

I'm tired. Off to bed I go.

Fun Times

Sunday started off shakey because as I was driving to work at 11:00am, some one rolled down their car window and informed me that, "did you know your back tired is flat?" "Uhhhh," I said a bit confused, "No I didn't. Thanks!" Crap. (Actually I said "shit" at the time.) :P I immediately pulled over to a "car lube station" and had some one look at my tire. Ohhhh boy. There was a nail stuck in my tire and it was completely flat. Grrrrr! The guy was kind enough to fill it with air and said I had better get it fixed as soon as possible because the air wouldn't last very long. He also said that since it was Sunday, it would be hard to find a repair shop that was open. Woops. No work for me! (And therefore no MONEY for me.) I ended up getting lost as I was trying to find the repair shop that he had mentioned, and happened to come across a "car spa and wash" station. Long story short they were able to fix my tire by puting a "tire plug" in it for only $10 (instead of having to spend almost $200 on a whole new tire.) While I was there I also got a car wash and a full service oil change. Exciting, I know.

Sunday evening was much better because I went to spend a couple days with Chris. We watched the movies, "300," "There's Something About Mary," and "Vanilla Sky," all of which I had never seen. They were all actually pretty good! (Although I admit to having been a little confused during "Vanilla Sky" at first.) :P

Monday Chris' ex-girlfriend (now friend) Quyen came over and we all had a fun time playing many rounds of Karaoke Revolution while working up quite a sweat. :P Later in the evening we headed over to "The Maccoroni Grill" for some dinner which turned out to be delicious! Quyen and I split an appetizer of calamari and a pitcher of sangria. Mmmmmmm it was soooo yummy! For my main course I got the "Sizzling Shrimp Scampi" which was, of course, tasty-licious. :P Over dinner I got to hear many a great tales about all the things Chris used to do when he dated Quyen- hehehehe. :P After dinner we headed back and did, of course, more Karaoke Revolution! Hahahaha.

Wooo I just realized that it's 10:58pm and I haven't officially eaten dinner yet. I'm starving! I'm off to eat. Mmmm.

It's Weird

Today I paid my last month's worth of rent- woo hoo! Kind of weird actually. And, today is the day that I have to put in my "2 weeks notice" at work, which is even weirder. Doing that brings mixed emotions; it's scary because I'm not sure "where" I will be working when I quit, it's exciting because it means I'm moving on to new things, and it's sad because I actually really like the people I work with for the most part. All the servers I work with are great, and the management is actually really good. Sooooo yeah. If I end up transfering to another Elephant Bar, I can only hope that it will be equally as good. We'll see.

Yesterday I went shopping- my favorite! I've gotten really good at it too. :P For $114 I bought: 5 new paint brushes, a nice set of mechanical pencils, colored pens, a new planner/organizer, a cute new pair of shoes, a pair of pants, 2 shirts, 2 pairs of earrings, 1 necklace, 2 pairs of cute undies, and a new bra. You have to admit- I got skillz! :P

Even though my roommates forgot about my birthday entirely, Chris didn't. I went over to his place a few days before my b-day, (because I had to work on my actual birthday,) and let me tell you, he cleaned his apartment from top to bottom! He even cleaned the toilet. :P For a guy, that's pretty impressive. In fact, the entire bathroom and kitchen had been cleaned. In addition, he also bought me some of my favorite treats. Orange juice, milk, 4 Starbucks Mocha Frapps, a 6-pack of the closest thing he could find to orange schmirnoffs, chocolate mint ice cream, 2 huge and yummy pizzas, pizza pringles, and cheetos! He was even planning to bake me a "birthday cake" of super yummy chocolate brownies layered with fudge in the middle, but silly me showed up too early and sort of spoiled that suprise. :P Sorrry! But we made the brownies anyway and they were delicious! AND, he also bought me 3 of my favorite girl dvds, 'Mean Girls,' '13 Going on 30,' and 'Clueless.' (All special editions of course!) :P I watched 'Clueless' yesterday, and it was still as great as it was when I watched it at age 14, haha.

Well I must be off to complete my final two weeks at the lovely Elephant Bar, yaaaaaaay. lol.

BTW- as an update to my last blog, parking at my apartment does "not" cost $80 a month. I mean, that would be ridiculous right? Of course it would! That's why it actually costs $250 A MONTH to park at my apartment. Yes you heard right, you have to pay $250 A MONTH just to park at your own apartment when you already have to pay a ludicrous amount for rent. THIS, my friends, is one of the major reasons why I'm sooooo outta here!

I Just Have To.

Rant. Ok, this blog is going to be nothing but some good 'ol ranting- so if you don't want to read rants, stop reading!
I'm stressed. And annoyed. Here's a few reasons why:

1. PARKING. The fact that my apartment now requires you to have a 24-hour "guest pass" in order to park in visitor/future resident parking has left me with NO PARKING. Because I can't afford to pay $80 a month for my own parking spot, I have been parking in visitor/future resident parking for the past year. And despite the fact that this area of parking is almost never full, they now require passes. Today, after it taking AN HOUR AND A HALF for me to get home from work, I had to drive around for 35 minutes JUST so I could park some where and get to my own apartment.

2. MY COMPUTER. Starting yesterday my internet connection suddenly went to crap. I use "airport," which means my computer mooches off other people's internet signals. Ever since I bought this computer in May, it has worked beautifuly. But as of last night, it doesn't work half the time. Looks like I might have to head back to the library to use the internet.

3. MY KEYBOARD/GARAGEBAND. Let's just say that I have been trying for A LONG TIME to hook my keyboard up to my computer so that I can play and transfer songs. I bought my keyboard specifically so that I could write and record my own music. However- it's not working. I went to the Apple store where I bought my computer and asked them for advice (AND spent $27 on a device they recommended for it,) and nothing worked. I asked people at Best Buy, (AND bought ANOTHER device,) and it STILL doesn't work. I have had help and advice from Chris- still doesn't work. I have spent hours reading help pages and trying to figure things out and ... guess what? Yep. Still doesn't work. AHHHHH!

4. MY MAIL. Some one has been tampering with my mail. When I came home from Missouri, I found a package my dad had sent me half open (and he almost always sends $,) and that was missing. When I came home from Chris' the other day, I had two birthday cards sitting on the kitchen table. One of the cards had obviously been OPENED. It was a card from my aunt, you know the kind of cards that are shaped especially for $ and even have the pocket inside to KEEP the money in? Yeah, you can bet there was nooooo money in there. AND I didn't even get the birthday card from my dad it would seem.

5. MOVING. I'm moving in 3 weeks, and ... moving is stressful.

6. WORK. I'm not %100 sure where I'll be working, and being jobless sucks.

7. FORGETTING. Now- not that I really care or anything but ... my two roommates took our newest roommie Annie out to dinner the other week for her birthday. Annie has only been living here a couple months and they remembered her birthday and took her out to dinner. I have been living here for a YEAR and they completely and totally forgot mine. :(

I'm sure there are other things, but my head is hurting too much to type at the moment. GRRRRRRRRR.

Oh Goody.

Chris and I just saw the movie '1408.' It was pretty good. Aside from the SUPER annoying teenagers that were sitting in the back of the theater being OBNOXIOUS.

On August 20th I'm moving out of my apartment. The rent just keeps going up and my two roomies who have lived there for almost 4 years can't even handle how outrageous it's getting so they're not renewing the lease. I won't be living with them because they are completely set on somehow buying a house in Santa Monica aaaand I'm not exactly ready to invest in some multi-million dollar home near the beach. Um yeah- not going to happen. Even though I'm not %100 sure where I'm going, (and therefore WORKING,) I'm glad to be getting out of that building. There has been endless construction going on NONSTOP for the entire year that I have lived there and ... quite frankly ... it's driving me INSANE. And the fact that as of Wednesday I have NO WHERE TO PARK because I'm no longer aloud to park in visitor parking. (I've been parking in visitor parking for the past year because I refuse to pay $80 A MONTH on a parking spot.) Soooo yeah ... not really sure where my car is going to be parked for the next 3 weeks.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 24. Ohhhhh goody. AND I have to spend the day working at the Elephant Bar. Yay. Can't wait. (Can you hear the sarcasm just dripping from my voice? I hope so.)

Well- Chris just made some pizza so I'm going to go eat now. Mmmmm.

24?!

Today at Stabucks I realized what a great barista I used to be when it took me like 15 minutes to get my drink- and it wasn't even that busy! I mean, geeeez. The poor dude making the drinks was making ONE drink at a time, and SLOWLY. I could make 5 drinks at a time! Arrrrrg.

My birthday is Saturday! I can't believe I'm almost 24, I'm getting to be such an old fart! :P And I'm ... of course ... working on Saturday. Grrr. I have a feeling that customers will be getting on my nerves more than usual that day. Everytime that some one tries to be a pain in the arse, I'll be tempted to be like, " No, I don't have to- it's my birthday!" Hahaha, but no.

:::yawn::: I'm tired.

It's the Not-So-Lovely Time of Year

For some stupid reason, for the past 4 years IN A ROW, my skin always breaks out around the middle of July into August. Aaaalways. My skin can be beautiful and clear almost all year long, but come middle July/August it always turns to crap. Grrrr.

Leroy Memories

A Tribute to Leroy (made by Christy):
Some of my favorite memories involving Leroy:

- The year that Leroy drove to Culver-Stockton to pick me up from college to take me home for the summer and we had our tornado encounter(s), with one particular encounter ending with Leroy and I running through a field towards the car while Leroy shreaked, "F**k!!!!

- All the nights/mornings where Leroy and I would just sit and "fester" on the couch in front of the tv, (aka "Fester til Five, Dead or Alive.")

- All the times where Leroy would barge into my room and start trying on my bras, (the black bra with roses on it being his favorite, haha.)

- The brawl involving Andrew, Leroy, and a suspicious green drink infamously called, "Rotten Groceries."

- Sitting at the piano and making up funny songs, like our "Mummy Song" that we wrote and recorded.

- All instances where I was "Magnolia" and Leroy was my "Uncle Aurthor."

- The time where we, (Leroy, Christy, Erika, Michelle, and I ... and maybe some others,) played "Harry Potter" outside and my character was a growth on Leroy's side ... I spent hours underneath the black cloak that he was wearing!

- The time where I was feeling sad so Leroy took me out to eat at Sonic- forgetting that he had a gigantic black uni-brow magic markered on his face!

- The time when Erika, Leroy and I got completely lost on a hiking trail near the Missouri River, (due to the fact that Leroy swore he know of a "short cut."

- Leroy always accidently calling the candy Jolly Ranchers "Magic Farmers."

- Leroy's infamous "Shut-ever!"

- All of my birthday and theme parties that he participated in

-The campout where Leroy first created the "I Am a Yeti" song and I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to die!

Home Sweet Home

After almost two weeks off from work and visiting family/friends in Missouri, today it was back to reality and work. Blegh. The first day of work after a semi-long vacation is always the worst. You get out of that "work mode" and into "vacation mode," and while switching to "vacation mode" is wonderful, switching BACK to work mode is not quite as fun.

It would take a decade to write all about the trip Chris and I took to Missouri, but here are some of my favorite "highlights":
- Spending time with Chris, Erika, Andrew, Esther, and Barf on Erika's porch while drinking one too many Schmirnoffs.
- Watching "Rave to the Grave" at Andrew and Esthers (HA!)
- Having Chris try on funny outfits at Erika and Barf's clothing store, "Retro Revolution."
- Having coffee with Esther, Jesse, and Michelle (and of course Chris.)
- Chris and I hanging out with Esther and Jesse playing Mario Party. (Our team, "Pure Evil," won!)
- Going out to The Flatbranch and The Wine Cellar to celebrate my birthday early.
- Playing hours of Scattegories with Chris on the screened-in-porch.
- Playing my first ever game of Scrabble with Chris (I won! Hehehehe!) :P
- Cooking "Fettucini con Lemon and Red Peppers" with Chris. (It was pretty tastey, while also quite lemon-y!)
- Going on a hike at Rock Bridge State Park with Esther (aka Resther) and getting lost- ending up at an elementry school and having to walk back on a narrow, winding road.
- Hanging out with Brana, Michelle, and Jesther at Comfort Inn while watching a GREAT thunderstorm! (And having an angry, red-faced man pound on the door!)
- Everyone going to eat at Sophia's and playing Bacci.
- Going to Devil's Ice Box

Unfortunetly, this trip home also made me a little sad because a.) There's a very good chance that this was the "last" time I'll see my grandparents, b.) It was the last time I'll ever be able to go into my family's house of 20 years, and c.) Leroy's death. Yes ... those are sad things. I don't like sad things. :( But overall, the trip was great.

We'll Miss You

We'll all miss you, Leroy! (Leroy Guindon August 5th, 1980 - July 8th, 2007)

Trip to Missouri So Far ...

DAY 1:
- Wake up at 3:30am- take shuttle to airport
- 7:25am- plane takes flight to Missouri
- 12:25pm- Arrive in KC, MO
- My luggage is missing
- My luggage won't be delivered until who knows when
- I begin to panick as I realize I'm going to "look ugly tomorrow" without my make-up

DAY 2:
- 9:25am- I wake up with a giant blue swastika drawn on my forehead during my sleep (by Andrew)
- 11:30am- Chris and I get up
- 1:20pm - Chris takes a big dump in Andrew and Esther's toilet, not realizing the water was off for repairs.
- 1:22pm- Chris smiles sheepishly and turns bright red as he walks out of the bathroom with a defeated look on his face, knowing this his pooped artistry is stagnating around in the porceline pot.
- 1:52pm- We're haning out with Mzzy and Esther

TO BE CONTINUED ...

How Well do you Reeeeally Know Me?

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S'mores Slop

Last night as I was eating one of those little snack-sized chocolate pudding cups, I suddenly got inspired to make a s'mores type pie. I was like, "Hmmmm ... this pudding would taste super yummy on top of a nice graham cracker crust. Oooooh and I could put puffed marshmallow cream on top of the graham cracker crust, and THEN put the pudding on it! Heck ... I could put Hershey chocolate bars on top of the marshallmallow cream and THEN put the pudding on top!" So today that's exactly what I did- well sort of. I didn't by a graham cracker pie crust, instead I bought regular graham crackers. So instead of a "pie" I was thinking more of a parfait style. But I didn't have any parfait glasses, so I had to use a bowl. Well ... the bowl was too wide (as oppsed to the cup,) so instead of a s'mores parfait it was more like a bowl of s'mores slop. TASTEY slop mind you! Mmmmm!!! So good! It would have looked much more presentable in a nice clear parfait glasses but ohhhhh-de-well.

You Should Seek ...

So yeah, I took the greek mythology personality test too. I can't remember who it said I was, but it DID say at the end that I "should seek the Oracle," heehee. And if Chris is the Oracle, then it looks like I did. :P

Today I bought all the travel-sized shampoos, conditioners, etc. for Chris and I- I'm sooooo excited about Thursday! :D I can't wait!!!

Last night I watched Donald Duck cartoons for almost 2 hours. It was beautiful.

The Oracle

No, this isn't a blog about The Matrix or The 300; it's about the Greek Personality Test, which Michelle posted recently. Quite fun, especially if you're into personality tests or classical lit. Oh yes, and it's a great way to pass the time when you're waiting for some laundromats to open up.

Heuristic, detached, and analytical to a fault, you are most like The Oracle. You are able to tackle any subject with a fine toothed comb, and you possess an ability to pinpoint nuances and shades of meaning that other people do not have and cannot understand. Accomplishment and realization of ideas are, for you, secondary to the rigorous exploration of ideas and questions -- you are, first and foremost, a theorist. You hate authority, convention, tradition, and under no circumstances do you accept a leadership role (although, you will gladly advise leadership when they're going astray, whether they want you to or not). You excel at language, mathematics and philosophy.

You are typically easy-going and non-confrontational until someone violates one of the very few principles that you deem sacred, at which point you can fly into a rage. Although you possess a much greater understanding of process and systems than the people around you, you are always conscious of the possibility that you've missed something or made a mistake. You don't tend to become attached to particular theories, and will immediately discard mistaken notions once they're revealed to be incorrect (but you don't tolerate iconoclasts who try to discredit validated theories through the use of fallacies and bad data). Despite being outwardly humble, you probably think of yourself as being smarter than most other people. That's because you are. In fact, in your dealings with people your understanding of their motives is so expansive that you know what they're going to say before they say it, and in world affairs, you usually know what is going to take place before it actually does. This ability would make you unbeatable in debates if only you were a little more outgoing.

Famous people like you: Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Adam Smith, Thomas Jefferson, John McWhorter, Ramanujan, Marie Curie, Kurt Godel

Stay clear of: Apollo, Icarus, Hermes, Aphrodite

Seek out: Atlas, Prometheus, Daedalus

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test

It's Friday.

Well, it's Friday. And that means I'm getting ready to head to work soon (blahhhhhhh.) Except this time I'm comforted by the fact that this is the LAST Friday I will be working before flying home on Thursday! Yaaaaaaay! I'm soooo so so excited about NOT working for 10 WHOLE DAYS and seeing all my friends and family and having Chris get to meet them all too! :D

Speaking of Chris, if you read the blog he wrote entitled "Busted Things," we are doing much better now- and NO I do NOT want to break up with him! :P After all, he's my ultra cuuuuuute Chris-dah-ris!!!

I just remembered that I haven't gotten my step-bro Jay a wedding gift yet, although thankfully Esther sent me the link to his wedding registry today. They're registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Why do ALL couples who get married register at "that" store every single time? All my friends who have gotten married in the last couple of years have ALL registered there. I mean ... it's a good store and all but ... there's a MILLION other stores too! For example, you can set up your wedding registry at this great wedding site that allows you to create your own list of ANY item from ANY store, and people can purchase them online just like Bed, Bath and BLah blah blah. lol. AND to make Bed, Bath, and Beyond worse, I wanted to purchase them the fondue set on their list this morning and the silly site won't even work! Grrrrrr. By the time is DOES finally work, some one else will have probably purchased it for them. Grrrrrrrrr.

Anyhow I don't really have time to say much right now because I have to eat and get ready for work, etc. But soooooooon I will be basking in the beauty of my time off work and spending it with the people I truly care about and love! (Awwwww!) Heehee.

Black Widows

As apartment complexes go, mine has quite of bit of grass and trees. And, since I live on the first floor of this very spread out complex, I expect to see spiders, ants, and other insect-based critters in my apartment, especially when it's too cold or hot outside.

What I wasn't prepared for was Black Widows. It seems the spiders I've seen and killed three times, within my apartment, are indeed Black Widows. One jumped out at me when I was moving a stack of papers that had begun to smell. (My cat had dumped water onto the papers and mold had begun growing on them. Ewwww). I spotted another Black Widow approaching my mattress shortly after I woke up one morning. It made it as far as the edge of the mattress before Toasty tore it to pieces. And, I smashed one that was scurrying across my bedroom floor. Outside, I spotted another Widow one night and tried killing it with Maximum Strength RAID. However, I had to empty about a fourth of the can onto the spider before it would stop moving! I sprayed so much toxin that much more would have suffocated either Toasty or me.

The scary thing is that I never had any idea that the ugly spiders I had come across were Black Widows. So, a few weeks ago, when I saw one of these spiders dead, on it's backside, trapped in, what looks to be the web of an even more powerful spider, I looked at its abdomen and saw the telltale red hourglass design. I quickly did an image search on Google for the Black Widow, and confirmed my worst suspicions. Not Cool!

Here's what I discovered about the Black Widow while searching Google, and arriving at a site hosted by UC Davis.

- When do bites occur?
Widow spiders are not aggressive and bites can be infrequent even when large numbers occur. The adult female spiders usually remain in their webs unless forced by adverse temperatures or destruction of their web. They do not forage for food and the insects they eat are caught in the webs and eaten at the site. Human bites mostly occur as the spider defends her web if it is brushed against or accidentally pinched. Occasionally, bites occur from hungry widow spiders when a hand or foot is dangled in front of the nest.

- What are the symptoms of poisoning by widow spiders?
Widow spiders inject a toxin that affects the nervous system (neurotoxin). Muscle and chest pain or tightness are some of the most common reactions to the widow toxin. The pain also may spread to the abdomen, producing cramping and nausea. Other general symptoms include: restlessness, anxiety, breathing and speech difficulty, and sweating. Swelling may be noticed in extremities and eyelids. Death usually results from respiratory paralysis.

- What do the eggs of widow spiders look like?
Eggs of widow spiders are laid in an egg sack, attached to the web of the mother. The sack is pear shaped, and creamy yellow, light gray, or light brown in color. About 200 eggs may be laid in an egg sack and females may produce several egg sacks if conditions are favorable.

So, despite the fact that only about five to six percent of Black Widow bites prove to be fatal, I think it's time to go nuclear and wage an all out war on the Black Widow. I'm not a fan of respiratory paralysis.

Busted Things

Last Saturday, as a show of solidarity, I too injured a toe, except, in my case, it was the pinky toe on my right foot. Of course I'm kidding about doing it to show sympathy for Allison, but I did injure it barely two to three hours after finding out about her toe. I was simply walking to my room when I fell back, kicked my feet forward, fell forward, and landed my right foot straight into the corner of a wall. I'm pretty sure it's fractured since it makes crunchy noises each time I move it. For your viewing pleasure, I've included a picture taken late Sunday night.

Lately, I've become obsessed with cataloging all of my DVD's. What I mean by cataloging is scanning is the cover art for my roughly 217 DVD's. The idea was inspired by Allison's difficulty in choosing a movie to watch, taking anywhere between a half hour to forty-five minutes. I figured it would be easier if she actually knew what the movies are about. So, since I don't have the space to stack 217 DVD boxes, I figured being able to read the descriptions on my computer would be the best solution. It also makes sense because it allows me to read what the special features on each disc are and tells me how long each movie is, something most DVD's, as opposed to VHS tapes, don't seem to list these days. So far, I've spent three days, doing absolutely nothing else until about 4 in the morning, working on this project. Just trying to get scans for DVD sets that can't be folded into a scanner took an entire day. Oh yes, and the warping of the paper on the cases makes things a job for Adobe Photoshop.

I've also tried going through all my stuff and do some much needed Spring - Summer Cleaning. Things tend to pile up when you're always busy with work and school. So, seeing as how I'm neither working nor in school right now, it seems like the best thing to do. I threw away three large garbage bags of paperwork Saturday, and I still have three more stacks to go through. That's not even counting the two cardboard boxes of paperwork associated with the classes I've taken the past two years. I need to go through all of that and organize it so I can study for a 16 hour examination I have to take in November before receiving my Masters.

Finally, I ended my fabulous Monday evening with over two hours of complaining straight from Allison. It would seem that's her thing this month, starting with the fabulous blog she wrote about me June 4th. This time she was furious because, yesterday, when she tried to force me to, in the future, sleep with a fan on, because she likes it that way, I refused. No one, not even Allison, has the right to force their desires or style of living on someone else, especially when it's in someone else's home or apartment. Then, I was railed against because I haven't compromised on the fan issue. Now, I would have compromised, if she had broached the fan issue in an attempt to compromise, but, when she attempted to force me into sleeping differently in my own apartment, compromise went straight out the window. As it is, I let her leave my window open while we're sleeping. For those who aren't from California, leaving the window open during the night is quite dangerous. And, last week I bought healthy foods just to please her. But, I will not be forced into anything, not in the one place that is mine - my apartment.

Now, I don't know where she picked up the idea that ragging on me all the time is somehow going to make me love her more, or that trying to force her preferences on me is going to make me give in, but it's not working. Maybe she's mad because I don't feed her lines and run to the store in seven minutes to buy her Ben and Jerry's ice cream like the men she runs into at work and on her spare time. Or, perhaps she's irked because I call her out on things. Part of my master's program involves utilizing rhetorical devices to create or dismantle an argument - nothing irks me so much as having someone rag on me using arguments that don't hold water. At that point, it's clear that the complaining is purely for the sake of complaining, and I point it out. I've decided she's trying to push me into breaking up with her. After all, she told me how she doesn't ever want to move in with me because her roommate told her it ruins a relationship. Completely avoiding the total lack of logic in that statement - if it were true, marriage would destroy all relationships - it's clear she most definitely does not want to be with me.

Good Morning to everyone - I'm headed to sleep.

I'm Terrible.

Yesterday at work the guy who always sits at the bar and bugs me, (the same one I've written stories about in previous E-Bar tales,) and who is always trying to talk to me, invite me to meet his "model friends," etc. was sitting outside on the patio talking with a couple of my "co-workers." I was finishing up my last couple of tables and was getting ready to head out for the day. I stepped outside on the patio to get some fresh air and "the guy" was talking to 3 other servers, (2 girls and 1 guy,) and so I just sort of stood there, half paying attention. Well some how ice cream came up in the conversation so I decided to insert my tw cents into the convo, "Ohhhh, I love ice ream. Ben and Jerry's chocolate mint cookie chunk is one of my faaaavorite kinds!" After I said that, I went back inside to clock out, etc. About 7 minutes later, one of the guy servers who was talking about ice cream with us came up to me and was like, "before you leave, that guy wants to ask you something." "Uhhhhh ... okay?" I responded, a bit puzzled. So I'm heading out the back and the guy comes up to me and asks, "Would your foot feel better if you had some ice cream?" "Uhhhh, probably not." Before I knew it, he was handing me a pint of Ben and Jerry's chocolate mint cookie chunk ice cream. I mean ... he literally RAN some where and found me my favorite kind of ice cream in like 7 minutes. Impressive. However, now I feel obligated to be nice to him despite the fact that he's always bugging me. Is a pint of ice cream really worth the obligation it carries with it?

Today I went to The Grove to stop by Barnes'N'Noble so I could of course look at wedding magazines and recipe books. Unfortunetly, it was MAJOR sale time today at The Grove. We're talking EVERY store was having a major sale. I tried very hard to resist even setting foot inside a store ... but ... I was allured into Victoria's Secret by the sweet aromas coming from all of the fragrances that were on sale. (75% off!!!) I tried SUPER hard to not buy anything, but ... alas ... my willpower was no match for the super cute blue Body By Victoria tank top that I spotted. It was love at first site, hehehe. And then I made the bad move of trying it on and it looked great! Damn. I bought it. I'm terrible. BUT normally it would have cost $55 but I got it for $25. Still pricey for the cheap SKATE that I am ... but ... what can I say?

I then headed to the Farmer's Market where I bought a basket of fresh strawberries for only $1.98 to enjoy for dinner ... which ... I'm going to eat right about now. Mmmmmm!!!!

In fact, I was going to write more, but I'm now too hungry to write anything else! :P

Owwwieeee!

My poor, poor big toe. About an hour ago I was getting in the shower to rinse-off, (seeing that I was quite sweaty from having just worked-out,) and as I was closing the big heavy sliding doors to the shower, some how ... the door managed to come off it's hinge thingy and it fell full weight directly on the bottom of my big toe! AND not only did it CRUSH my poor toe, but the metal edge of the door completley sliced my toe open. Owwwwwwieeeeeee!!!! It hurts. Bad. Like ... I can't stand on it or move it. I'm afraid I may have broken it but I haven't fully checked yet. And ... the extra sucky part of all this is, is that I have to leave for work in about 2.5 hours, I don't think I can even get a shoe on, let alone walk around on it for like 8 hours! Meeeeeeeeehhh!!!!

Ho hum.

My Happy Week

I think everyone needs to go out and buy a carton of fresh strawberries right now! Why? Because I just made the most delicious white chocolate covered strawberries!!! Mmmmmm. Just buy a bag of white chocolate chips (or milk chocolate,) melt them in the microwave, dip the strawberries, let them chill for a bit, and then mmmmm!!! Yummmmmy!

I'm currently enjoying FOUR days off in a row from work- FOUR days!!! It's been wonderful. Last night Chris and I went to the Olive Garden and I ordered the most wonderful caramel hazelnut macchiato, and a super yummy shrimp and scallop with fetuccini alfredo dish. Woah. Yum. Chris ordered an Olive Garden pizza. ALSO yummy. Then we spilt a Tiramisu for dessert. It was the best dinner I've had in a loooong time!

Last night Chris showed me the movie 'My Fair Lady,' which I had actually never seen before!!! I knew quotes and some music from it and everything, but I had never actually SEEN it before. It was a very enjoyable fim.

Today Chris and I went grocery shopping for Chris' groceries. I'm slowly but surely making progress in my quest for Chris' healthy eating. Instead of getting beef for burgers, I got him to get chicken breasts for chicken sandwhiches instead. Instead of buying a big bag of Doritos, he got a big bag of dried mangos. AND he also got a bunch of apples and deli meat. Oh and bananas! : D Hehehehe.

Today I bought 'Fright Night' on dvd. Yay.

Wishlist #2

Today I bought some stuff on my wishlist #2: KITCHEN ESSENTIALS ... hehehe! I got:
- TWO 9" round cake pans (the nice nonstick, heavy stainless steal kind!)
- A muffin/cupcake pan
- THREE nice, different sized, cute mixing bowls
- A measuring set that included measuring spoons, cups, and a big measuring cup (liters and oz)
- An apple slicer
- A set of spatulas
- And a brightly colored strainer
Grand total? Only $46! I think I did a pretty damn good job in saving money! :P I can now make layered cakes, cupcakes and muffins, among other things. :D

Ouch.

Ouch. Cramps. They hurt. Lower back aches. Ouch. They hurt too. Major bloating action and feeling a little like the marshmallow man. Not cool.

Okay, going to go work-out now. Blahhh.

That's all I have to say. Period. (Hehehe, get it? Get it? ... Yes I'm dumb.)

Sooo Good

Today I went to the Farmer's Market that's next door to eat lunch and ended up eating at this little restuarant called The French Crepe Company- daaaaamn it was good! I hadn't had crepes since my mom passed away in '98, so it's been nearly a decade, and I LOVE crepes! I ordered La Versailles, which was this big crepe filled with fresh strawberries and topped with powdered sugar and whipped cream. Mmmmmm!!! Soooooo good.

Oh oh! I stopped by Ross just for the heck of it and ended up looking at their cookware. Woah! They have tons of good cookware for CHEAP! (Well, cheap compared to every other place!) I could have bought all the baking pans (cake pans, brownie pans, loaf pans, muffin pans, etc.) for like $50. I almost loaded up on tons of stuff but decided to force myself to wait a little longer. Maybe tomorrow. lol j/k :P

Color me Happy!

I think that on one of my days off this week, (either Monday or Thursday,) I'm going to head over to
Color Me Mine in Beverly Hills, which is this really cute art studio that I actually found out about while I was looking in one of those 'Star Magazines' and saw a picture of Paris Hilton painting there. (Thankfully I won't have to worry about bumping into HER when I go- hehehe. Ehem. Sorry.) ANYWAY it looks like loads of fun. You get to choose from over 400 ceramic pieces to paint, ranging from every type of dinnerwear to interior decor to figurines and supplies. After you paint and glaze the piece, they then "fire" the piece up for you when you're done and you get to bring it home! And of course, use it if you want. I can't decide what I'll want to do! Maybe a set of really cute coffee mugs. Or plates. Or ... or ... or maybe I'll just wait until I get there to decide. :P

Q and A

It's Q and A time with me, the wedding planner! Today, Jones (AKA Becky,) asked me this question:

Q: "So, can you give me advice like what percentage of a wedding budget should go to each part? Dress, flowers, food, reception hall rental, gifts for the wedding party, etc? What are all of the parts that I need to think about? (Note that I am NOT engaged. I don't want you to be confused. I'm just THINKING about it. That's all.)"

A: Typically, most people allot approximately 50% of their budget for the reception, (location, food, beverage, etc.) and then allot up to 10% each to flowers, photography, attire, and music. The rest goes to stationery, favors, gifts, and any other details.

However, this is just "on average." Before you plan your wedding, know how much you can spend (and stick to it!) and then decide what's most important to you (and your man.) Is it having a great photographer? Is it your dress? Is it food? You may decide to allot more money on your dress and spend less on flowers, for example.

And lastly of course, you have to remember that your guest list directly effects the cost of your wedding. The more people you have, the more expensive it will be.

And also remember that any budget can be tailored to your wants and needs. For example, I've come up with wedding budgets for a $4,000 wedding (and it would be a GREAT wedding!) So you don't have to spend a fortune, (compared to today's average of $20,000 for a wedding,) you just have to know the tricks on how to cut the costs.

My Wish Lists

Feel free to NOT have to read this, because the following is simply a list of all the things I both want and need. :P But I like to have it all typed out so I can look at it. I have 5 different "wishlists" of things I need to save up money for.

* Wishlist Number 1: BUSINESS START-UP COSTS

* Wishlist Number 2: KITCHEN ESSENTIALS
COOKWARE:
- Sauce pan
- Stockpot
- Griddle
- Skillet
- 17-piece tool & gadget set
APPLIANCES:
- Blender
- Electric mixer
- Toaster oven
- Starbucks espresso machine
BAKEWARE:
- Two 9" round cake pans
- 8" square brownie pan
- 13" x 9" square cake pan
- 9 1/4" loaf pan
- 18" x 13" cookie sheet
- Muffin/cupcake pan
- Cooling Rack
- Spatulas
- Nonstick rolling pin
- Ceramic mixing bowls
- Storage Containers

* Wishlist Number 3: COMFY SLEEPING :P
- A super nice bed that will last me forever!

* Wishlist Number 4: 4 MONTHS LIVING EXPENSES FOR WHEN I START MY BUSINESS

* Wishlist Number 5: SAVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR THE DAY I'LL NEED A NEW CAR

I just conquered the first two most expensive items on the BUSINESS START-UP COSTS list, the computer and printer/copier/scanner. I also currently have $1,200 saved for living expenses/emergencies. Woo hoo!

Obsessions

Mmmmm. I just made myself some tastey chicken and vegetable stir-fry with a yummy citrus sauce and cashews. My tummy definetly said "yummy" and then it thanked me. :P

It's kind of funny. This past year I've noticed some new "obsessions." Like, I all of a sudden started loving seafood. I mean, what the sam hill? I used to DESPISE seafood! (Except canned tuna of course, hehehe.) Not only have I started loving seafood, (particularly shrimp, scallops, muscles, salmon tempura rolls, and calamari,) but I've also been obsessed with the idea of cooking. I've always liked to cook, (especially cookies,) but everything else was pretty easy and boring. Like ramen, grilled cheese, and mac & cheese. But for the past several months, I've spent many hours going to Barnes'N'Noble looking at food and drink recipes. And since I've gotten my new computer, I've printed off lots of recipes from the Martha Stewart site and yesterday I watched a video on how to make these extra super yummy pancakes. I even started a "recipe" notebook where I have all the recipes that I think look yummy-licious compiled.

But with my sudden urge to start trying new recipes I have run into a small problem: I don't have the necessary kitchen equipment! I realized there's so many things that I would need. Including basic cookware, (pots and pans), appliances, (mixers, blenders, toaster, etc.), bakeware, (cake pans, cookie sheets, muffin and loaf pans, etc.), and cutlery, (nice set of knives, obviously.) And let me tell you, as I'm sure many of you are aware, things like pots and pans are damn expensive! But I'm going to start slowly trying to accumlate the list of essentials.

Another thing I realized since my roommates have recently decided that they want to move out and buy a HOUSE in Santa Moncia (sooner rather than later- maybe even at the end of the summer,) is that I don't have a bed- or even a matress! So I need to start saving for that. I would like to buy a really super nice bed, one that is not only of excellent quality and comfort, but one that will last a LONG time. (Preferrably like ... forever.) :P But the one I want costs like $1,800 (and that doesn't include a head board or anything.) Grrrrr. :(

Mmmmm and Ewwwww

This year spring cleaning came a little late for me. But over the past 2 days I've been very productive! Let us now examine just HOW productive I've been:

1. I cleaned out and threw away the heap of junk that has been taking over the space in my car trunk since I moved.

2. I cleaned out the back seat of my car, which had boxes full of stuff that I had been too lazy to put away so I kept ignoring it.

3. I went through all my clothes (including underwear) and threw MANY articles away.

4. Went through my purses and kept only my favorites and got rid of the ones I don't use.

5. Went through all my notebooks filled with various things and threw those away.

6. Basically I went through ALL my possessions and threw away stuff. :P

7. Finished uploading ALL my cds! Woo hoo!

8. I cleaned and scrubbed Kara and I's shower because it was disgusting ... now it's sparkling!

And there you have it. Spring cleaning about a month and 1/2 late. Ooops.

Today at work I was bent over cleaning something on the carpet and a guy walked by and said to me, "Nice territory." ??? Ewwwww.

Last night I got a caramel macchiato from Starbucks for the first time in probably at least 6 months. Usually, I get a white mocha, but for the past several months I switched to getting chai tea lattes because they're much healthier for you. WELL. I am convinced that caramel macchiatos are one of the most delicious drinks that Starbucks has to offer. And not just ANY caramel macchiato. No. But a grande caramel macchiato, upside down, with nonfat milk, 5 pumps of vanilla, extra hot, no foam, whipped cream, and extra caramel. :P Mmmmm it was SOOOO good! And even that is much better for you than a white mocha. I have a new favorite.

Hehehe- I Love Cats

Not only are cats damn cute- but they also provide me with much laughter and entertainment. My dad sent me this ...

My Screws are Loose!

Tonight, my roomie Kara walked in while I was sitting on the bedroom floor watching Donald Duck cartoons and cutting pictures/articles out of wedding magazines. Apparently, this means I have "a few screws that are loose." Surely I'm not the only 23-year-old who spents much time cutting things out of wedding magazines while watching the wonderful Donald Duck? :P

Today while I was at Starbucks, I ran into TWO different customers who started complaining that I don't work there anymore. Apparently, customers have been asking where I went and complaining that I left. Breeeeh he he he he- oh yeah, I was just THAT good at making people their lattes! :P

Oh- and despite the fact that I recently posted a complaining and ranting blog about Chris entitled "Dump Bugs," I would just like to say that he is still absolutely, without a doubt the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I'm VERY lucky. :)

A Different Note ...

And on a completely random note, I really like the new single by Kelly Clarkson "Never Again," and despite the fact that I'm not a big fan of country music, I really like Carrie Underwood's song "Before he Cheats." I just downloaded them both the other day. :P

And the lovely Kelly Clarkson ... (even though I don't really like the VIDEO, lol)

Junk Removed

Ah. I feel much better today despite the fact that my nose is much more clogged today then it was yesterday. It's amazing what a nice long ranting blog will do! It felt great to get all of those twisted thoughts out of my head so that I can think clearly again. It's like moving a pile of junk that's been building up in the middle of your room. The pile of junk just keeps building up and the bigger it gets, the more it gets in your way and the more likely it is to trip you and actually hurt you. So, moving that pile of junk to some where else, say the garage, gets it all out of your way! Maybe I'll be able to take that pile of junk to the dumpster later and get rid of it for good.

As I was going to bed last night, (or should I say this morning,) after writing my blog, I already felt much better. I almost deleted the blog so no one else would have to read it. I didn't really care for the thought of people reading it, especially after I felt so much better just having written it. I was like, "well, I feel some what better, maybe I should just delete it." But I was too tired to turn the computer back on. And besides that, you shouldn't do things like rip pages out of your diary! Especially those long, heartfelt rants. Even if the rant is a bunch of overthinking. That way you can look back at the entry and be like, "Woah! What the hell was I thinking?" Hehe.

Oh yes, and I want a Toyger. My dad sent me an article from Life Magazine on Toygers and now I completely want one! It's a domestic cat they're breeding to look like a little mini tiger! Ahhhhh! Soooo cute. They should be "complete with all the traits" by the year 2010. Me wants. SO cute. There's a whole page on them at www.toygers.org

Dump Bugs

During the past couple of days, in addition to being sick, I've also been feeling a little on the down side as well. Not just physically, but emotionally. Tonight when I was talking to Chris on the phone, he couldn't help but notice that I didn't really sound like myself when almost every response I gave him was, "Nice."

I realized that I wasn't completely sure why I felt so down, although I had a few rough ideas of what might be some contributing factors. Despite the fact that Chris asked me why I felt so dumpy, I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I would open my mouth and nothing but a squeek would come out of it. (Literally.) Partly because I myself wasn't sure of ALL the reasons why I felt bad, and partly because I didn't want to share with him the reasons I knew off hand. I knew he was already tired and stressed from studying for his final all weekend and I didn't want to accidently say something that might make him upset. So I decided to keep my mouth shut.

One thing that has sort of been weighing me down is the fact that I haven't heard the words "I love you" for a long time. In fact, the last time he told me that was through a text message sent on April 27th. (I saved it so that's how I know the exact date.) I remember saying "I love you Chris" a few weeks ago as we were getting ready for bed and he didn't say anything in response. I guess that just sort of threw me off. I mean ... I know he does ... but ... it's been over a month since he's told me that he does. The last time was in April and it's now June. I know maybe he doesn't need to hear it as often as me, and I don't even need to hear it every day or all the time, but it's been over a month and it's sort of been eating away at me. It just leaves this tiny little ... "uhhh ... does he still love me?" thought flowing through my head. And I haven't told him again since the night he didn't respond.

Another thing is that when I talked to him today, he didn't even ask me if I was feeling better or how I was feeling at all. I felt awful yesterday and had a 104.8 fever as I was heading to bed last night and he didn't ask me anything regarding how I felt when I called him this afternoon. I'm sure he cares ... but the fact that he didn't say anything made me feel like he didn't.

Lately I've been recording songs for fun and posting them on my myspace profile. Last week I posted a song called "Toxic" (Britney Spears,) so that I could test out all the cool special effects. When I told Chris, he said that when he listened to it he didn't even make it half way through the song because he can't stand Britney Spears. I was slightly annoyed that he couldn't even listen to 3 minutes of song so he could hear the cool effects I added, but I let it go because I understood his dislike for Britney. Well today I spent hours recording a new song, "Kissing You" from Romeo and Juliet. I played the piano too! All Chris said about it was, "it's better than the other one. It's not toxic." But what does that mean? He hated "toxic," so what does, "well it's better than the other one" mean? Couldn't he have just said something like, "oh ... I like it!" instead of something that gives the affect of, "oh it's better than the other one which was awful." I mean I don't expect gloating compliments and praise, but I spent hours on it and he just one-upped it from a song he dispised.

Several times on the phone over the past couple of weeks Chris has said something like, "I'm waiting for YOU to say something," or "You can't seem to carry a conversation without me." Now ... you would think that hearing something like that would make me much more talkative. That I'd be like, "oh, yes, I need to say something now!" But instead it's done just the opposite. I just freeze. I immediately get afraid that he thinks I'm boring and when I try to come up with a topic I just freeze! It's like one of those awful dreams where something bad is happening and you need to yell or scream but when you open your mouth nothing comes out. I have things to say, but lately I've been worrying so much about the fact that he thinks I can't carry on a conversation that I literally can't. It's like when some one tells a child that he/she is stupid, and then the child begins to ACT stupid because he/she assumes the person who told them that is right.

Him not saying "I love you" makes me wonder, (and then feel guilty for wondering in the first place,) me being sick and him not even asking anything about how I feel makes me feel like he doesn't care, his rather "blah" sounding compliment about my song makes me wonder if he even liked it at all, and the fact that he has accused me of not being able to carry on a conversation by myself has left me feeling so paranoid that I freeze. I freeze and then feel even worse because I know that my silence probably bores him. And then I begin to think, "He probably knows alot of smart/interesting girls ... why would he want to stay with some one whose boring?"

One completely ridiculous thing that has added to my feelings of inadequacy is a memory from many months ago. Back in early September, I remember reading several old blogs written by Chris' ex during the time that they were dating. Her blogs made their relationship seem so wonderful as she recounted all the wonderful things they did together and for eachother. The same week I read them, Chris' ex sent him a text message telling him that she was still in love with him. I'll admit that for several days I was worried that he would want to leave me to go back to her. Chris assured me that he didn't want to and I believed him. And I still do. That was that. I haven't been worried about him wanting to leave me for her since. But from what I read back then I can still remember all these "wonderful stories" that she told. Like how he suprised her by coming over and welcoming her with a long stemmed red rose, or how he drove all the way over to take care of her when she was sick, or how they had a special hotel and restaurant just for them. I hadn't given any of these stories a second thought since back in September until now. But some how, in my already worried and sad state, I began to think twisted thoughts like, "How come I've never gotten any flowers?" "How come he drove all the way to her apartment to take care of her when she was sick, but when I'm sick he doesn't even ask how I'm feeling?" And "How come we don't have a special hotel? Or restaurant even? Technically they went to the Elephant Bar together first, so that's not really *our* special place." I know it may be utterly ridiculous for me to think things like these, but with all the other things I've been thinking they just happened.

All these things have sort of rolled into one to create what I like to call "the plague of the dump bugs." Each reason and thought is a little dump bug that bites me. Now, some one might be okay after being bitten by only ONE dump bug. But after many bites from many dump bugs, all the poison from the dump bugs begin to coarse through the person's blood and make them sick.

I didn't want to sound selfish and make Chris think that I believe he doesn't care. Because I'm sure he does. I don't want him to think that I'm ungrateful for the things that he HAS done, because I am. That's why I didn't want to explain why I felt down. I was afraid that telling him these things would make things worse. If I don't tell him, then he will be upset at me for not being open and honest. And if I DO tell him, then he might be upset when he hears what I've been thinking. I wouldn't hold it past myself to screw up things with the one guy I really love. But I just can't seem to stop the dump bugs from biting me.

Blah.

Work was awful today. I felt kinda yucky last night before bed, and was still feeling yucky this morning when I woke up. So I took some medicine and by the time I had to work at 4:30pm my temperature was down to 101.5. However, working 8 hours in the chaos known as the Elephant Bar on a Saturday night is NOT a good way to recover. By the time I was done I felt a million times worse and as I was driving home just now, I felt so weird ... like I would be driving and I'd forget what just happened. I'd be like ... 'was that light I just drove through green? I think so' ... that's so terrible! Blagh. And I have to be back at work tomorrow morning. I must go to bed now ... yes this blog is "blah" because that's how I feel at the moment. Oh well.

Must ... Get ... zZZZZ

I've been sitting at my computer for over 6 hours uploading all my cds onto my computer. Now, at 3am, 650 songs later, I think it's time I went to bed. The depressing part is, is that I don't think I'm even half way done ... BLAHHH.

My throat is starting to hurt. I hope I'm not getting sick ... that would be BLAHHH.

Woah, technically right now it's June 1st! I can't believe it's already June!

To bed ... must ... get ... sleep ... neeeeed sleeeep ... zzzzzz